i just got back from bahrain.
for a number of reasons this was a frustrating trip, but the main reason is that fucking british airways likes to lose my luggage. (maybe this is some sort of cosmic sign for me to shrug off some of the emotional baggage that i've collected.)
my flights to london and to bahrain were delayed because of the weather. this was a day or two before heathrow was shut down because it of the fog. i can't even imagine what it was like when they closed because while i was there it was pretty intense. we were in a holding pattern above london and you would have had no idea that there was a huge city underneath. the pilot pointed out the tips of three buildings poking out of the fog...they were skyscrapers from canairy warf (?), the financial district. that was all that was visible. and then when we landed the fog was so thick i couldn't even see the wing (which i was sitting above) until we had actually touched down.
so needless to say, i had to rush a little more than planned in heathrow to catch my connection to bahrain and my bag didn't make it. that would have been fine...normally i would have gotten my bag delivered to my house the next day. it's happened before and i usually carry a change of clothes in my carry on, so no big deal. well, then heathrow shut down. and when i spoke to the airport and airline, no one could even tell me if the bag was even in london. the last time it was scanned was at jfk. lovely.
after multiple visits to ba offices and the airport and calls a couple times a day to ba all over the place including dubai, i finally got my bag christmas morning...which we had to go pick up from the airport. they wouldn't deliver it. which was just enough time for me to put my mom's gift in a pretty box and put it under the tree and throw all my clothes in the washing machine and repack. i had arrived in bahrain on the 20th and got the bag on the 25th. i left bahrain the morning of the 27th. and while, normally i'd love an excuse to go shopping, i had a lot of meds in that bag that i didn't carry on with me because of the new liquids/cream laws that say that you can't carry more than a certain amount unless you can prove that you'll need to use the prescription while you're on the flight. well i didn't, but i did need it after i got off. so i had to go try to find replacements while i was there.
so i learned my lesson and carried on all my meds when returning to the us. and i came back with two bags instead of one because of the new clothes i *had* to buy and gifts from my mom. :)
and what does ba do? they lose my bag again. not the signifcantly smaller one with stuff i don't really care about in it, but the big one with all my important stuff. at the airport they told me it'd definately be in on the last flight. i call this morning and it's not. again, they can't even tell me where it is. how does the little bag make it and not the big one? that one would be more understandably misplaced.
all i have to say is that they better fucking deliver this bag when it comes in. i'm not going all the way to newark to pick it up. the bus ride to times square alone took two hours last night. so much for the newark EXPRESS.
please please please i want something to work out for me. so far lately everything has been far, far more complicated than it should be.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
bahrain does funny things to my brain
i've had some very vivid dreams since i've come to bahrain...last night was possibly the goriest dream i've had in years.
i return to a rabbit farm in a wooded area with a group of people i don't know in my every day life, but knew in my dreams. most of the rabbits were slaughtered. some torn apart, others burned...none of them nice deaths. the ones that remained had some sort of disease and a cure made from the bone marrow of the dead ones. it was my job to debone the carcasses and crack open the bones to retrieve the marrow. and my brain went into quite a lot of detail regarding the process. and then there was a part where i had to dig up bodies in a graveyard, but that's where my memory of the dream gets fuzzy. nice, eh?
i return to a rabbit farm in a wooded area with a group of people i don't know in my every day life, but knew in my dreams. most of the rabbits were slaughtered. some torn apart, others burned...none of them nice deaths. the ones that remained had some sort of disease and a cure made from the bone marrow of the dead ones. it was my job to debone the carcasses and crack open the bones to retrieve the marrow. and my brain went into quite a lot of detail regarding the process. and then there was a part where i had to dig up bodies in a graveyard, but that's where my memory of the dream gets fuzzy. nice, eh?
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
some pictures from london
ok. i'm posting a few pictures from london. i don't want to seem self indulgent, but all the pictures will have me in it. if you're looking at this, you're probably my friend and don't give a shit about pictures of people you don't even know.
these were all taken on my last night in london. we started drinking early (and i even partook of a few on the tube) on our way to a gay arabic night at a lesbian bar somewhere in south london.
that night i met some pretty awesome people! hopefully we'll keep in touch. unfortunately leena isn't in any of these pics because she was the one taking them.
for some reason we all felt the urge to sit on aj. (i'm the one on top)
i danced a lot and had quite a few partners. dancing with depak
i really like this picture of aj and i. it looks like a planet is about to pass between us and the camera.
one of my most interesting dancing partners:
the group: aj, me, claire, depak. not pictured are leena, rowaida, zara, depak's sister, and some blonde girl who was WAY too drunk.
these were all taken on my last night in london. we started drinking early (and i even partook of a few on the tube) on our way to a gay arabic night at a lesbian bar somewhere in south london.
that night i met some pretty awesome people! hopefully we'll keep in touch. unfortunately leena isn't in any of these pics because she was the one taking them.
for some reason we all felt the urge to sit on aj. (i'm the one on top)
i danced a lot and had quite a few partners. dancing with depak
i really like this picture of aj and i. it looks like a planet is about to pass between us and the camera.
one of my most interesting dancing partners:
the group: aj, me, claire, depak. not pictured are leena, rowaida, zara, depak's sister, and some blonde girl who was WAY too drunk.
Friday, November 17, 2006
he's a bastard
he obviously doesn't give a fuck about my health or my feelings. we talked about things...and he's lied to me more than once. most guys i know would LOVE to be in this position. why the fuck do i put myself though this shit?
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
hair cut
i got my hair cut today! yay! i cut off over a foot and it's still below my shoulder. i'm just glad that it's gone. now...what color to dye it?
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
life update
i frequently post stuff about random crap and my artistic life...what shows i'm doing, our reviews, etc., but because of a recent shift, i believe it's time to write about what's going on in my life in general...because there is a lot. maybe this blog post will allow me to actually sort it all out and make sense of it in my own head.
(i'll backtrack a little for those of you who i've recently gotten back in touch with). when i graduated from nyu, the job market in nyc sucked a big one. it was right after 9/11 and everyone was still in shock. companies were moving out of the city, people were being laid off right and left, and people were being forced to fall back on job skills such as bar tending, which they may have given up years before. a friend of mine looking for a bartending job told me that on one of the interviews she went on, the interviewer remarked that he had gotten thousands of resumes for the one job.
so my jump into the "real world" was less than ideal. i was graduating from a very expensive university. the renovation on my apartment (which was supposed to be done in april) would not be done until august. and i had no job, as my position with the university ended once i graduated and packed off the little freshmen for the summer. i was sending out resumes wildly. i had no idea what i wanted to do. i was getting fairly steady acting work, but i still needed a day job to pay the bills. i tried getting a more permanent job with nyu, but that didn't pan out and i finally got a call from a real estate company for a reception position that i didn't even remember applying for. i went in for an interview mainly because i hadn't gotten any other calls. the interviews went well and i think i was offered the position the next day.
granted, this was my DAY job, and not what i was wanting to do with my life, so i vowed that i'd keep looking until i found something better. and i did continue going on interviews, but gradually the company became my home. shortly after getting the job, their parent company downsized and they eliminated my position. serendipitously, a receptionist position opened up in their soho office at the same time and after a moment of panic, i was transferred to the other office. i stayed there for two years. i loved the office but hated the job. i met some of my closest friends through that office. i got to see/meet a few celebs. i was even able to score a few acting/design roles. and while the job allowed me to concentrate on my acting and design, i, well, i needed more money. and i knew i had more potential.
when an office manager position in the carnegie hill office opened up, about two years later, i applied. i naively thought that all the different offices were run the same way and would have similar types of characters. i was wrong. my new position was not like the soho office manager position that i had occasionally stepped in to. and the brokers in the office were not the same type (or age group) of people. but that is the difference between the upper east side and soho.
so the job had more stress, more aggravation, and more conflict. i did meet some more dear friends, but i was missing soho. i stuck through it for two years, but as time went on, i became more and more frustrated. i had jumped a few steps up the ladder to this position and there was no where for me to progress to unless i became a broker (which i had little desire and no nest egg for). i would dread going to the office in the morning. i felt stagnant.
during these two years, i made a great creative leap and founded a theater company with two friends and began producing as well as acting and designing shows. but slowly the issues from the day job began to seep into my life outside. the job exhausted me, and my day didn't end when i left there at
a little over a month ago, i left the real estate company. it was a tough decision. it had become my home. it was all i knew after college. despite the frustrations, at least it was something that was a constant in my life. i took a job at a small finance company. the founder/president was 29 years old and very ambitious. (that was an exciting change from working in an office where the average age was over 50 and most people had children older than me). there was a lot of opportunity for growth as the office grew, the hours (in theory) were shorter, the money was better, and there was a lot to learn (i had no idea about investment banking or finance).
but almost immediately, the chemistry between my boss and i changed. the previous assistant left over a month before i started and there were a series of temps between her and i. they also just moved, so i was learning a new job, a new industry, a new boss, and trying to make sense out of the piles of papers just shoved into drawers.
i thought i was getting better. i actually knew what the sec was and what nda meant. but then i noticed that my boss started getting emails from the placement agency that placed me with him. (no i was not snooping, he had me send emails from his account all the time.) i began to worry, but he was away in
so last friday i approached him. i asked him i needed to start looking for another job. i think i took him off guard. he started out the conversation saying he was unsure, but that he felt like with me it was like trying to get a square peg into a round hole. i stood up for myself and i think that pretty much made up his mind. so he paid me what he owed me and i left.
i tried not to think of it too much over the weekend, since i'm in the middle of the run of the crackwalker and i think i did a pretty good job.
but now, for the first time, i feel like i have no direction. you always have a goal to work for: graduation, the bonus, opening night, the vacation. i don't have the money to go back to school. the show i put blood, sweat, tears, and bruises into is up. and i have no day job.
i am trying to use this time to not only live cheaply, but catch up on all the life stuff i pushed aside because i simply had no time. i'm running errands, cooking, doing laundry. i know it'll eventually get old because i was never fond of housework...actually i despise it. but my latest goal is to reduce the clutter of my life while trying to figure out what i need to do about money.
ideally, i'd get a job in theater administration. but those are so hard to come by and when you do, the pay is crap. i do know that i don't want to repeat what happened with my most recent position or even with my office manager position. i know i don't like finance, and i don't really want to go into real estate again. in a nutshell: i don't know what i want right now. i'm trying to use this time to recharge, get my life in order. oddly enough, i'm not panicking (yet). i am looking for jobs, but i am not striking out blindly like i have in the past. whatever i decide to do, i want it to make me happy. ok, maybe not happy because i don't want to get too comfortable in it and not keep doing theater. but i do want to be content.
Monday, October 30, 2006
review for my latest show
ok, ok, so my part of the review wasn't stellar...it actually hurt my pride a bit because i am used to good reviews, but the review itself was very good. check it out
Northern Exposure
by Lauren Snyder
The Crackwalker reviewed October 28, 2006
To most Americans, Canada is that strange nation to the north whose major exports are beer, hockey players, and Degrassi High. Our idea of the country is that of a colder, more rural United States where everything and everyone's a bit cleaner and a bit nicer. But Judith Thompson's play The Crackwalker, produced by New World Theater, shows a different side of Canada by focusing on the desperate denizens of Kingston, Ontario, circa 1979. The result is a harrowing, powerful tale of economic depression and mental illness. Therese is a mentally challenged manipulator and compulsive liar who makes her doughnut money by servicing gay men and sleeps on her friend Sandy's couch. Sandy, a rage-filled, emotionally damaged woman, is married to Joe, an abusive, womanizing gambler. Joe's friend Alan (who is seeing Therese) is a twitchy former addict with a tenuous grip on reality.
Sandy and Joe fight and make up as they try to establish a better life for themselves. Alan and Therese get married and have a baby, against the wishes of her social worker and with the misgivings of Therese, who previously had a baby taken away from her. Though Therese is no longer working as a prostitute, she is not bright enough to take care of a child or to realize that Alan is mentally ill and should not be responsible for her or their son. Even the relatively stable influence of their friends cannot stop the tragedy that is to come. The reality of the events portrayed onstage is helped along by the theater space itself. The Access Theater is on the fourth floor of a building that evidently houses another performance space above it; at several moments during the performance, there were loud banging noises and voices raised in anger coming from upstairs. One could imagine them stemming from arguments among other tenants in Joe and Sandy's apartment building.
Tattered, mismatched furniture is easy to do on a small budget, but period costumes are not; design consultant Frankie Keane picked out some cute vintage duds for the ladies. Thompson's gritty script mimicked regular conversations in its language, rhythms, and the ebb and flow of conflict. Two characters would be at odds with each other but then talk themselves into agreement through their mutual ire against a third character. These transitions occurred so naturally that it was hard to remember who was mad at whom, as sometimes happens in life. The strong writing is complemented by the strong acting on display by the cast of non-union actors. Melanie Kuchinski Rodriguez brings a long-simmering bitterness and a great Canadian accent to the mostly reactive role of Sandy. Her physical confrontations with David Wesley Cooper, who believably plays the mercurial Joe, are fraught with danger and sex. Karron Karr doesn't always succeed with the very stylized slang that Therese speaks, but she underplays her character's mental handicap even as she nails her mix of naïveté and sexual sophistication. Kelly Miller rises to the challenge of Alan, who changes from eccentric but lovable to psychotic and frightening within the course of the show. On Broadway and Off-Broadway, Irish playwrights are now all the rage. On Off-Off-Broadway, most produced scripts are written by new local playwrights and Shakespeare. While it's important to foster the talents of young New York writers, importing plays like The Crackwalker can only add depth to the city's cultural offerings.
see photos and the actual review at www.offoffonline.com
Northern Exposure
by Lauren Snyder
The Crackwalker reviewed October 28, 2006
To most Americans, Canada is that strange nation to the north whose major exports are beer, hockey players, and Degrassi High. Our idea of the country is that of a colder, more rural United States where everything and everyone's a bit cleaner and a bit nicer. But Judith Thompson's play The Crackwalker, produced by New World Theater, shows a different side of Canada by focusing on the desperate denizens of Kingston, Ontario, circa 1979. The result is a harrowing, powerful tale of economic depression and mental illness. Therese is a mentally challenged manipulator and compulsive liar who makes her doughnut money by servicing gay men and sleeps on her friend Sandy's couch. Sandy, a rage-filled, emotionally damaged woman, is married to Joe, an abusive, womanizing gambler. Joe's friend Alan (who is seeing Therese) is a twitchy former addict with a tenuous grip on reality.
Sandy and Joe fight and make up as they try to establish a better life for themselves. Alan and Therese get married and have a baby, against the wishes of her social worker and with the misgivings of Therese, who previously had a baby taken away from her. Though Therese is no longer working as a prostitute, she is not bright enough to take care of a child or to realize that Alan is mentally ill and should not be responsible for her or their son. Even the relatively stable influence of their friends cannot stop the tragedy that is to come. The reality of the events portrayed onstage is helped along by the theater space itself. The Access Theater is on the fourth floor of a building that evidently houses another performance space above it; at several moments during the performance, there were loud banging noises and voices raised in anger coming from upstairs. One could imagine them stemming from arguments among other tenants in Joe and Sandy's apartment building.
Tattered, mismatched furniture is easy to do on a small budget, but period costumes are not; design consultant Frankie Keane picked out some cute vintage duds for the ladies. Thompson's gritty script mimicked regular conversations in its language, rhythms, and the ebb and flow of conflict. Two characters would be at odds with each other but then talk themselves into agreement through their mutual ire against a third character. These transitions occurred so naturally that it was hard to remember who was mad at whom, as sometimes happens in life. The strong writing is complemented by the strong acting on display by the cast of non-union actors. Melanie Kuchinski Rodriguez brings a long-simmering bitterness and a great Canadian accent to the mostly reactive role of Sandy. Her physical confrontations with David Wesley Cooper, who believably plays the mercurial Joe, are fraught with danger and sex. Karron Karr doesn't always succeed with the very stylized slang that Therese speaks, but she underplays her character's mental handicap even as she nails her mix of naïveté and sexual sophistication. Kelly Miller rises to the challenge of Alan, who changes from eccentric but lovable to psychotic and frightening within the course of the show. On Broadway and Off-Broadway, Irish playwrights are now all the rage. On Off-Off-Broadway, most produced scripts are written by new local playwrights and Shakespeare. While it's important to foster the talents of young New York writers, importing plays like The Crackwalker can only add depth to the city's cultural offerings.
see photos and the actual review at www.offoffonline.com
Saturday, October 14, 2006
My New Show
I'm playing a mentally challenged Canadian prostute.
No, I'm not kidding...
No, it isn't a comedy...
Just see the show. It's good and it will make you feel icky afterwards...but in a good way... :)
NWT is staging one of the most acclaimed Canadian plays of the past 25 years. The Crackwalker, directed by Robert Zick Jr, is a plunge into Kingston, Ontario’s underworld of drugs, sex, mental illness and murder, where four local down-and-outs struggle to live, to love and to make a better world for themselves with tragic results.
Judith Thompson’s first play (premiered at NYC’s Hudson Guild in the early 1980’s) is a visceral exploration of the ugly realities of society’s castaways, where the “Crackwalker” waits to crush anyone unable to walk the fine line between sanity and destruction.
Access Theatre
380 Broadway, 4th floor(btw White St. & Walker St., TriBeCa)
New York, NY 10013
October 26 - November 12
Wed. - Sat. @ 8:00pm, Sun. @ 7:00pm
Gala*, Friday, October 27 @ 8:00pm
*Wine & cheese reception with the actors to follow the show!
Tickets: $18 at the door, $15 in advance
Gala event with reception $25
For advance tickets, call TheaterMania at 212-352-3101 or reserve online at www.newworldtheatre.org
Directed and Designed by Robert Zick Jr
Design Consultation by Gerard J. Savoy
Costume Consultation by Frankie Keane
Stage Managed by Leia Garcia-Benedini
Illustration created by Elizabeth Anderson
Featuring: David Wesley Cooper, Karron Karr, Melanie Kuchinski Rodriguez and Kelly Miller
Visit us at www.newworldtheatre.org.
New World Theatre is a sponsored project of Fractured Atlas
sorry for being out of touch
i know there's a lot of you who may feel a little neglected. believe me it's nothing personal.
i recently started a new day job...and it's really kicking my butt. it's with a finance company. my boss is cool, but it's been a tougher transition than i thought. it's like learning a new language. i'm just starting to catch on to what things are about and stuff. i have a constant feeling that i'm disappointing him and i hate that.
and then i've had rehearsals every night for the crackwalker, one of the most challenging shows i've ever been a part of. it's great and the end result will be very moving, but it's also a lot of work and very tiring.
and we've had had a series of house guests staying with us for the past few months. it's been fun and all, but it's nice to have the apartment back. just in time to start cleaning for the halloween party...
i recently started a new day job...and it's really kicking my butt. it's with a finance company. my boss is cool, but it's been a tougher transition than i thought. it's like learning a new language. i'm just starting to catch on to what things are about and stuff. i have a constant feeling that i'm disappointing him and i hate that.
and then i've had rehearsals every night for the crackwalker, one of the most challenging shows i've ever been a part of. it's great and the end result will be very moving, but it's also a lot of work and very tiring.
and we've had had a series of house guests staying with us for the past few months. it's been fun and all, but it's nice to have the apartment back. just in time to start cleaning for the halloween party...
Monday, August 14, 2006
it's not fair!
life is SO not fair!!!!! i got a text message from patrick today saying that he was in the same restaurant as david bowie. why do the people who could care less always meet the people i idolize most? ok, so patrick didn't meet him, but had he taken my suggestion and offered him head, then he would have certainly have met him. he didn't even ask him for his autograph. :(
Sunday, August 13, 2006
there and back again
i'm back from atlanta. it's nice to be reminded what life is like in the rest of the us every once in a while. eh, it's not for me. i mean, it's nice to be able to drive places and to have cable and stuff, but really a place like atlanta would drive me crazy after a while. i was pretty much out of my element there...with people and places. it was good to see andy, though. i didn't have as much one on one time with him as i would have liked. he had friends tagging along 90% of the time.
and now that i'm back, i was hoping to be super productive and get lots done. that really hasn't happened. i've reverted to staying up till 3 or 4am and then being useless most of the day. and now when i'm finally fully awake, hatim's asleep so i can't be prowling around the apartment and wake him up. today when i wanted to get lots done, i took a 4 hour nap. my biggest accomplishment this weekend has been taking a bag of clothes to the salvation army. and then packing another two bags of clothes to hopefully sell at beacon's closet tomorrow. i've been feeling an itch for a wardrobe make over. but i can't really justify it until i clear out some room.
and now that i'm back, i was hoping to be super productive and get lots done. that really hasn't happened. i've reverted to staying up till 3 or 4am and then being useless most of the day. and now when i'm finally fully awake, hatim's asleep so i can't be prowling around the apartment and wake him up. today when i wanted to get lots done, i took a 4 hour nap. my biggest accomplishment this weekend has been taking a bag of clothes to the salvation army. and then packing another two bags of clothes to hopefully sell at beacon's closet tomorrow. i've been feeling an itch for a wardrobe make over. but i can't really justify it until i clear out some room.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
dinner?
what does it mean when a guy asks a girl out to dinner?
what does it mean when your ex-boyfriend asks you out to dinner?
and what does it mean when he mentions it to you three or four times in one day and then the next day asks to see if you could squeeze him in between work and a meeting that same night?
now i'm not reading too much into this, am i? but it sounds like someone may have changed their mind about not wanting a girlfriend. i'm just not going to deal with it until after atlanta.
what does it mean when your ex-boyfriend asks you out to dinner?
and what does it mean when he mentions it to you three or four times in one day and then the next day asks to see if you could squeeze him in between work and a meeting that same night?
now i'm not reading too much into this, am i? but it sounds like someone may have changed their mind about not wanting a girlfriend. i'm just not going to deal with it until after atlanta.
Monday, July 31, 2006
it's over
and, oh yeah, the shows are over. suddenly. at one point it felt like they'd never begin or end and now they're over. time to move on. it's a very weird feeling, but i don't have the sadness i did after book of days.
atlanta here i come
i bought a ticket to atlanta today to visit a certain georgia boy who i've known for a million and a half years. i'm really looking forward to seeing him, but i'm still a little peeved that he screwed up our plans to go elsewhere...first it was montreal, then boston, then dc and new orleans was even a destination for about 5 minutes. i mean (and no offence to anyone) but what is there to do in atlanta, anyway, besides drinking a pepsi in front of the coke museum? (and i'm going to hold him to his promise to come up to nyc for my halloween party because he screwed up our vacation).
seriously, though, i'm glad to be going. i love catching up with him and i desperately need a little time off and away from nyc (the last time i left was for a theater retreat on long island in february). maybe i'll even be able to relax and do nothing for an hour. i think the last time that happened was when i visited him in north carolina a few years ago.
i leave friday. yes, i know it's very last minute. i hope 1. that the week goes very quickly, because i know the weekend will definately go too quickly and 2. that i somehow find the time to get everything done this week that needs to be done.
seriously, though, i'm glad to be going. i love catching up with him and i desperately need a little time off and away from nyc (the last time i left was for a theater retreat on long island in february). maybe i'll even be able to relax and do nothing for an hour. i think the last time that happened was when i visited him in north carolina a few years ago.
i leave friday. yes, i know it's very last minute. i hope 1. that the week goes very quickly, because i know the weekend will definately go too quickly and 2. that i somehow find the time to get everything done this week that needs to be done.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
sex, drugs, rock'n roll and conjoined twins?
i saw the poster and i was interested.
i watched the trailer and got really excited!
first off, the poster reminds me of trainspotting, which is one of my favorite movies. it's about punk music, another love. and it's got hot boys in it, which is always good. so what if they're conjoined twins? i guess it's trainspotting meets velvet goldmine if ewan mcgregor was a conjoined twin. this is the first movie in a long time that i've really been excited about...my roommate commented how twisted it looked...so does it surprise anyone that i'd get excited about it? i'm so there opening night (july 28th)! i just hope it doesn't suck.
and yes (after some research) they are twins, but they are not really conjoined. :)
i watched the trailer and got really excited!
first off, the poster reminds me of trainspotting, which is one of my favorite movies. it's about punk music, another love. and it's got hot boys in it, which is always good. so what if they're conjoined twins? i guess it's trainspotting meets velvet goldmine if ewan mcgregor was a conjoined twin. this is the first movie in a long time that i've really been excited about...my roommate commented how twisted it looked...so does it surprise anyone that i'd get excited about it? i'm so there opening night (july 28th)! i just hope it doesn't suck.
and yes (after some research) they are twins, but they are not really conjoined. :)
Saturday, July 15, 2006
buzz buzz
so not only has united stages wrote an article about priscilla (the show i'm acting in), william niederkorn (the shakespeare scholar and nytimes writer) came to opening night of hamlet and wrote about it on his blog. it would have been nice to have been written up in the times, but we'll take what we can get. ;)
to check out the text of both articles go to www.newworldtheatre.org/blog
to check out the text of both articles go to www.newworldtheatre.org/blog
Thursday, July 13, 2006
headshots and costumes and theater...OH MY!
the shows are going. we're getting some nice buzz and united stages even wrote a piece about rewriting shakespeare/priscilla/jeff (the playwrite). check it out: www.unitedstages.com
i think the shows are going well (even if last nights' performance was possibly the oddest i've ever been involved in). had a bit of a break down about the costumes for hamlet (long story), but everything seems to be running smoothly now.
my mom is in town and this will be the first thing she's seen me in since 2000. i kinda wish she would have come for book of days last year, but nothing i can do about that now. tomorrow we're seeing hamlet and saturday my roommate is taking her to see me in priscilla. i'm a little nervous about it.
despite the press attention we've gotten, we're not getting much of an audience. so if you're in the nyc area, COME SEE MY SHOWS! they're good...i promise. (see previous blog for show info)
also after a lot of deliberation, i've narrowed my headshot choices down to 4. i just need to knock one more off and i'll be set. it's SO hard. i've never had so many pictures of me that looked good. grrrr....
which one would you vote off the island? (please remember that these are yet to be touched up before reproduction). there is another shot that i'm definately keeping. i'm only including the three that are questionable.
i think the shows are going well (even if last nights' performance was possibly the oddest i've ever been involved in). had a bit of a break down about the costumes for hamlet (long story), but everything seems to be running smoothly now.
my mom is in town and this will be the first thing she's seen me in since 2000. i kinda wish she would have come for book of days last year, but nothing i can do about that now. tomorrow we're seeing hamlet and saturday my roommate is taking her to see me in priscilla. i'm a little nervous about it.
despite the press attention we've gotten, we're not getting much of an audience. so if you're in the nyc area, COME SEE MY SHOWS! they're good...i promise. (see previous blog for show info)
also after a lot of deliberation, i've narrowed my headshot choices down to 4. i just need to knock one more off and i'll be set. it's SO hard. i've never had so many pictures of me that looked good. grrrr....
which one would you vote off the island? (please remember that these are yet to be touched up before reproduction). there is another shot that i'm definately keeping. i'm only including the three that are questionable.
Monday, July 03, 2006
new headshots
i got new headshots taken a few days ago and i need to pick two or three to touch up and then have reproduced. maybe i'll start getting called into auditons more often with these.
any favorites?
www.jensenstudiosnyc.com/photography/karroncolor/
any favorites?
www.jensenstudiosnyc.com/photography/karroncolor/
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Come See My Show(s)!
NEW WORLD THEATRE OPENS 2006-07 SEASON WITH HAMLET: EVOLUTION
UPCOMING PLAYS - NWT will explore the dark side of the human experience with two politically provocative plays beginning in Fall 2006 with the staging of Canadian playwright Judith Thompson’s volatile first play, The Crackwalker, a visceral exploration of the ugly realities of inner city survival. Slaughter City, a searing drama about life in the meat-packing industry by acclaimed playwright and poet Naomi Wallace will anchor New World Theatre’s season in the winter of 2007.
"Hamlet Evolution" image by Maria Aldana
Hamlet 1603: The First Quarto features Anthony Bagnetto, Robert Cross, Jason Liebman*, Kevin Lind*, Alyssa Mann, Thomas Poarch and Gabriele Schafer*
Priscilla features David Diloreto, Cassie Haynes, Linda Jones*, Karron Karr, Jessica Krueger and Paul Weissman
* Appears courtesy of the Actor's Equity Association
Hamlet 1603 Director: Cynthia Dillon
Priscilla Director: Robert Zick Jr.
Hamlet 1603 Assistant Director/Stage Manager: Meghan Dickerson
Hamlet 1603 Fight Choreographer: Al Foote III
Set Designer: Robert Zick Jr.
Costume Designer: Karron Karr
Lighting Designer: Keri Thibodeau
Publicity Coordinator: David Cooper
Production Manager: Melanie Rodriguez
Highlighting the evolution of Shakespeare’s renowned play from its origins to its relevant implications today, New World Theatre presents HAMLET: EVOLUTION featuring Hamlet 1603: The First Quarto by William Shakespeare and the newly commissioned adaptation Priscilla by Jeff Love.
Hamlet 1603: The First Quarto – This is a rare opportunity to see the first publication of Shakespeare’s quintessential revenge play. Presented uncut, this Hamlet is shorter and leaner and in many ways a “different play.” Hamlet returns from University to discover that his father is dead and his uncle has married his mother. Visited by the ghost of his father, Hamlet schemes to wrest the truth from his murderous uncle and avenge his father’s death.
Priscilla – NWT’s newly commissioned modern adaptation, Priscilla takes Shakespeare’s most famous work and puts its premise of indecision leading to destruction into a more contemporary context –and with a woman as the protagonist. Will Priscilla choose a life of love and security or will she lose herself amid the unraveling revelations surrounding her mother’s suspicious death?
Stella Adler Studio 2-B31 W. 27th Street, 2nd Floor New York City
July 7 - 29, 2006 Tuesdays – Saturdays at 8pm Saturday & Sunday Matinees at 3pmB
oth shows run in repertory throughout the month of July. Check out the full schedule on our website or the calendar below.
Tickets: Hamlet 1603: $15 in advance, $18 at door Priscilla: $12 in advance, $15 at door
Buy tickets to both shows for only $25 (call 212-352-3101)
Tickets are limited - reserve now!Call: 212-352-3101 or visit http://www.newworldtheatre.org/.
UPCOMING PLAYS - NWT will explore the dark side of the human experience with two politically provocative plays beginning in Fall 2006 with the staging of Canadian playwright Judith Thompson’s volatile first play, The Crackwalker, a visceral exploration of the ugly realities of inner city survival. Slaughter City, a searing drama about life in the meat-packing industry by acclaimed playwright and poet Naomi Wallace will anchor New World Theatre’s season in the winter of 2007.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
venting (and some whining)
i'm so tired...and busy...and frustrated. here are some reason why i think i'm going to have a nervous breakdown soon:
1. i'm a little worried that i may have bitten off more than i can chew, theater-wise. in an effort to improve my quality of life (aka my day job), i enrolled in a certificate program in management for the arts at nyu. i'm only taking one class this summer that meets once a week on monday nights, but that's enough, considering the homework.
2. then i'm acting in the play priscilla. we open in less than a month and at rehearsal yesterday we got a new act 2. i don't know when i'm going to start memorizing my lines. and i don't even have a grasp of my character. i'm still figuring out her voice, walk and all the physical stuff. (i do have to admit i'm having a lot of fun in rehearsal, though. the cast is awesome and it's been a long time since i've been in such a funny, slapstick type of role).
3. also, i'm desigining the costumes for both shows (priscilla and hamlet...visit www.newworldtheatre.org/blog for updates and pictures of the shows). i haven't even really begun with priscilla yet because i don't have a finalized copy of the script. but i've been working on hamlet. i need to figure out the women...once i figure out the women, i think the men should be easy enough. but how do you put a woman in a dress who has to change into a man in about 10 seconds on stage and still make her beautiful and feminine? and why are all the colors i want for costumes out of season? why can't i have the money and an assistant to make exactly what's in my head?
4. and i really should start thinking of designs for hurt so good...the show i'm designing for point of you productions...which goes up in august. i also feel like i'm slighting poy because i haven't been able to make production meetings in forever because i've been going to priscilla and hamlet rehearsals.
5. i haven't had time to do laundry in forever. i'm down to three pairs of underwear because i was so hung over on sunday that i couldn't do anything before i had to go to the hamlet rehearsal.
6. i have no money because i booked an appointment for new headshots...i had to pay half of the fee as a down payment, so i guess i have no money for new underwear if i run out of the clean stuff. also i'm still paying off my nyu class.
7. my computer at work hasn't worked for the past 3 days. i've got all sorts of people on my back about things and i can't access half the stuff because it's all on my computer. i've been a the visiting broker's desk, but i can only do so much from here (yes, i'm writing a blog entry instead of doing work. i wonder if this will get me fired so i can collect unemployment and actually get out of this job). so my day job is one big, frustrating nightmare right now.
7.5. my alarm rings at 7:20am. i'm not cut out for this early morning shit. i get up that early and i'm still always late for work because of the trains. and then after i get off work at 5:30 i go to rehearsals which run until 10. then i go home and by the time i've eaten dinner (if i eat dinner these days) it's after 11. then it's on the internet to return theater emails and do costume research or homework. i'm trying to be in bed by 1:30, but that doesn't aways happen. then it's back to the beginning again. why can't my day job be my theater job?
8. i miss my ex boyfriend and i stupidly text messaged him when i was drunk saturday night. but even if we were together, it's not like i'd have any time for him. i still miss him, eventhough i'm hearing stories about him which remind me why it's good that we're no longer together.
9. my mom is coming to stay with me next weekend and my room is a sty. i've got to find some time between now and then to at least get rid of the piles of clothes on the floor.
i really really need a massage...and some sex...and a nap...for, like, a year.
1. i'm a little worried that i may have bitten off more than i can chew, theater-wise. in an effort to improve my quality of life (aka my day job), i enrolled in a certificate program in management for the arts at nyu. i'm only taking one class this summer that meets once a week on monday nights, but that's enough, considering the homework.
2. then i'm acting in the play priscilla. we open in less than a month and at rehearsal yesterday we got a new act 2. i don't know when i'm going to start memorizing my lines. and i don't even have a grasp of my character. i'm still figuring out her voice, walk and all the physical stuff. (i do have to admit i'm having a lot of fun in rehearsal, though. the cast is awesome and it's been a long time since i've been in such a funny, slapstick type of role).
3. also, i'm desigining the costumes for both shows (priscilla and hamlet...visit www.newworldtheatre.org/blog for updates and pictures of the shows). i haven't even really begun with priscilla yet because i don't have a finalized copy of the script. but i've been working on hamlet. i need to figure out the women...once i figure out the women, i think the men should be easy enough. but how do you put a woman in a dress who has to change into a man in about 10 seconds on stage and still make her beautiful and feminine? and why are all the colors i want for costumes out of season? why can't i have the money and an assistant to make exactly what's in my head?
4. and i really should start thinking of designs for hurt so good...the show i'm designing for point of you productions...which goes up in august. i also feel like i'm slighting poy because i haven't been able to make production meetings in forever because i've been going to priscilla and hamlet rehearsals.
5. i haven't had time to do laundry in forever. i'm down to three pairs of underwear because i was so hung over on sunday that i couldn't do anything before i had to go to the hamlet rehearsal.
6. i have no money because i booked an appointment for new headshots...i had to pay half of the fee as a down payment, so i guess i have no money for new underwear if i run out of the clean stuff. also i'm still paying off my nyu class.
7. my computer at work hasn't worked for the past 3 days. i've got all sorts of people on my back about things and i can't access half the stuff because it's all on my computer. i've been a the visiting broker's desk, but i can only do so much from here (yes, i'm writing a blog entry instead of doing work. i wonder if this will get me fired so i can collect unemployment and actually get out of this job). so my day job is one big, frustrating nightmare right now.
7.5. my alarm rings at 7:20am. i'm not cut out for this early morning shit. i get up that early and i'm still always late for work because of the trains. and then after i get off work at 5:30 i go to rehearsals which run until 10. then i go home and by the time i've eaten dinner (if i eat dinner these days) it's after 11. then it's on the internet to return theater emails and do costume research or homework. i'm trying to be in bed by 1:30, but that doesn't aways happen. then it's back to the beginning again. why can't my day job be my theater job?
8. i miss my ex boyfriend and i stupidly text messaged him when i was drunk saturday night. but even if we were together, it's not like i'd have any time for him. i still miss him, eventhough i'm hearing stories about him which remind me why it's good that we're no longer together.
9. my mom is coming to stay with me next weekend and my room is a sty. i've got to find some time between now and then to at least get rid of the piles of clothes on the floor.
i really really need a massage...and some sex...and a nap...for, like, a year.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
AIDS Walk
On May 21st I participated in the AIDS Walk. I personally raised $525 for the cause and my team, consisting of members from my two theater companies raised $2880. The rain held off until we finished the walk, a good time was had by all, and we capped off the day by going to hallo berlin! for beer and sausage. if you want to check out some pictures taken by other members of my team, go to www.newworldtheatre.org/blog.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
busy weekends wear you out
i had a very interesting, but busy weekend...in a nutshell i went to two going away parties, had another round of casting for a part for our show, did the aids walk and saw my first prince albert. :)
more details to follow...
i'm so tired.
more details to follow...
i'm so tired.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
weird morning
yes i know i should be working, but i had to share...
i was pretty late to work today because of all the weirdness on the train.
first the L train was held up because a guy on my train got arrested. i saw three cops drag him out and he looked like he was on something. he also couldn't really walk because his pants had fallen down to around his legs and they wouldn't let go of his arms so he could pull them back up.
then i finally get on the 4 train. it's really crowded and this guy behind me starts touching my back and telling me to move further in. there is no possible way i can get any further into the train. this guy keeps touching me. then suddenly i hear another guy say "why are you even touching her?" and as the doors start to close the other guy shoves the toucher out of the train. i thanked him, but it was a little violent for first thing in the morning.
at 42nd street, it clears out and i sit down. i notice that the guy next to me is looking at his diskman very closely. he's wearing glasses, so i wonder if they're not working well or something. then he starts licking it!!! the man was licking his diskman and i don't think anyone noticed but me.
i get to work (late) and i have an email from my mom. she said she got a call at 5:45am saying that school was canceled because a bomb went off in the school. then she said she got a second call that said it was an electrical fire, not a bomb. cover up? who knows...
AND THEN a baby bird flew into our office and a bunch of us were trying to get it to fly back out the door before it flew into one of our windows and hurt itself.
and it's not even noon...
i was pretty late to work today because of all the weirdness on the train.
first the L train was held up because a guy on my train got arrested. i saw three cops drag him out and he looked like he was on something. he also couldn't really walk because his pants had fallen down to around his legs and they wouldn't let go of his arms so he could pull them back up.
then i finally get on the 4 train. it's really crowded and this guy behind me starts touching my back and telling me to move further in. there is no possible way i can get any further into the train. this guy keeps touching me. then suddenly i hear another guy say "why are you even touching her?" and as the doors start to close the other guy shoves the toucher out of the train. i thanked him, but it was a little violent for first thing in the morning.
at 42nd street, it clears out and i sit down. i notice that the guy next to me is looking at his diskman very closely. he's wearing glasses, so i wonder if they're not working well or something. then he starts licking it!!! the man was licking his diskman and i don't think anyone noticed but me.
i get to work (late) and i have an email from my mom. she said she got a call at 5:45am saying that school was canceled because a bomb went off in the school. then she said she got a second call that said it was an electrical fire, not a bomb. cover up? who knows...
AND THEN a baby bird flew into our office and a bunch of us were trying to get it to fly back out the door before it flew into one of our windows and hurt itself.
and it's not even noon...
art imitating life imitating art
music really helps me during a break-up...and during this period i've found myself gravitating towards the bouncing souls (who i am hoping to see at the knitting factory the first week of june), most particularly to their album, hopeless romantic. many of their songs just fit with how i've been feeling...including night on earth, (i'm a) hopeless romantic (you're just hopeless), whole thing, and wish me well (you can go to hell). in fact, the lyrics to this duet could have been a conversation between patrick and myself at some point...check it out:
p: i gotta be me, baby, and you gotta be you.
k: something isn't right, but i know i love you. i only want what's best.
p: i don't know. is this some kind of test?
k: yeah and you're failing! all we do is bicker.
p: say good bye.
k: kiss my ass. i hope you die.
p: wish me well.
k: you can go to hell. say good bye.
p: kiss my ass. hope you die.
k: wish me well.
p: you can go to hell. we were so different a short time ago.
k: love's supposed to make us happy, supposed to make us grow. and i just wanna punch you in the face!
p: i love you. i guess i needed some space.
k: oh well another time and another place.
p: say good bye.
k: kiss my ass. i hope you die.
p: wish me well.
k: you can go to hell. say good bye.
p: kiss my ass. i hope you die.
k: wish me well.
p: you can go to hell. so does this mean i really have to go?
k: um, yeah. what part of 'get out' didn't you understand?
p: wow. i mean, what happens if i want to call you or something next week?
k: well, what happens is that i won't be there because i don't like you any more.
you're stupid.
p: fine then. i don't care. i'm leaving.
k: k. whatever. bye. see ya.
p: alright. i'm out the door.
k: k. bye.
p: this is me leaving. i'm gone.
k: k. see ya. bye. whatever.
p: can i call you next week?
k: no. what are you laughing at, stupid?
p: i'm out the door.
k: god. go already.
thank god for music...it can give you a sense of humor even when you feel hopeless.
p: i gotta be me, baby, and you gotta be you.
k: something isn't right, but i know i love you. i only want what's best.
p: i don't know. is this some kind of test?
k: yeah and you're failing! all we do is bicker.
p: say good bye.
k: kiss my ass. i hope you die.
p: wish me well.
k: you can go to hell. say good bye.
p: kiss my ass. hope you die.
k: wish me well.
p: you can go to hell. we were so different a short time ago.
k: love's supposed to make us happy, supposed to make us grow. and i just wanna punch you in the face!
p: i love you. i guess i needed some space.
k: oh well another time and another place.
p: say good bye.
k: kiss my ass. i hope you die.
p: wish me well.
k: you can go to hell. say good bye.
p: kiss my ass. i hope you die.
k: wish me well.
p: you can go to hell. so does this mean i really have to go?
k: um, yeah. what part of 'get out' didn't you understand?
p: wow. i mean, what happens if i want to call you or something next week?
k: well, what happens is that i won't be there because i don't like you any more.
you're stupid.
p: fine then. i don't care. i'm leaving.
k: k. whatever. bye. see ya.
p: alright. i'm out the door.
k: k. bye.
p: this is me leaving. i'm gone.
k: k. see ya. bye. whatever.
p: can i call you next week?
k: no. what are you laughing at, stupid?
p: i'm out the door.
k: god. go already.
thank god for music...it can give you a sense of humor even when you feel hopeless.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
cycles
so my boyfriend and i broke up. i don't need to worry about him reading this because he never really took an interest in what i was doing in my life and although i did send him this link a few times, i don't think he ever bothered to visit my blog. there'd be no reason for him to start now.
to answer some questions that were put forth to me about it: yes, the relationship was troubled. yes, i knew it was eventually going to end. yes, i had considered breaking up with him in the past, but this was his decision. it came out of the blue for me because in our last serious conversation we had regarding our relationship, he said he was happy with the way things were, etc., etc. and didn't understand why i was unsatisfied. also our last day spent together was totally wonderful...the best day we had together, i think, in months. apparently, though, even that day he was planning the break up. what hurt the most though was what he said to me and that i know that there is something he is not telling me that sparked the event. i know ultimately it's for the best, but it still hurts.
now that that's out of the way, the real reason for this blog entry...
i feel that i'm back in a similar place as i was this same time of year last year. weird things keep happening to me, which makes it obvious...
last year and pretty much this time, bob and i decided to play pool one afternoon at dempsy's pub on 2nd ave. eventually we were challenged by two guys, one of whom i was pretty attracted to named roscoe. it was probably only 3pm and both guys were well on their way to being blitzed, but we had a good time. roscoe mentioned that his birthday was coming up and i should go to his party. we exchanged numbers but nothing ever came of it. a week or two later (over memorial day weekend) patrick and i had our first "date".
this past friday i saw the crucible, which was done by rising sun, a company run by some friends of mine. i joined the cast for drinks at east 4th street bar, across the street from the theater (and around the corner from dempsy's). we were all drinking at tables set outside the bar on the sidewalk when this guy who looks a little familiar stumbles by. he is incredibly drunk and probably has no memory of the night. i take note that he's really cute (but really drunk) and try to remember if he was an actor who submitted for a part in our show (and that's why he looks familiar). then he bends over the railing and asks me to dance with him. his two friends with him seemed mortified. i tell him no, to dance with his pretty friend and he says that she's his sister and her boyfriend would bash his face in for it. they pull him away and suddenly he turns around, lifts his shirt and starts rubbing his chest and stomach and starts yelling "look at what you're missing." i must say he has a REALLY nice body.
so we all laugh about it and continue hanging out. about half an hour later, he walks by again, this time without his sister and her boyfriend. and starts saying to me "oh look at your face. look at your eyes. look at your dimples and smile." so i get up and walk over to him and introduce myself. he tells me his name is roscoe. i try to shake his hand and he pulls me too him to try to kiss me. i move my face and he slobbers all over my cheek. but yes, it all came back to me when he told me his name. this is, in fact, that same roscoe and it's almost exactly a year since we first met. and again this time i am single. meghan mentioned that it sounded like we were fated. as cute as he is, i don't want to be fated to a guy with questionable intelligence and a drinking problem...
to answer some questions that were put forth to me about it: yes, the relationship was troubled. yes, i knew it was eventually going to end. yes, i had considered breaking up with him in the past, but this was his decision. it came out of the blue for me because in our last serious conversation we had regarding our relationship, he said he was happy with the way things were, etc., etc. and didn't understand why i was unsatisfied. also our last day spent together was totally wonderful...the best day we had together, i think, in months. apparently, though, even that day he was planning the break up. what hurt the most though was what he said to me and that i know that there is something he is not telling me that sparked the event. i know ultimately it's for the best, but it still hurts.
now that that's out of the way, the real reason for this blog entry...
i feel that i'm back in a similar place as i was this same time of year last year. weird things keep happening to me, which makes it obvious...
last year and pretty much this time, bob and i decided to play pool one afternoon at dempsy's pub on 2nd ave. eventually we were challenged by two guys, one of whom i was pretty attracted to named roscoe. it was probably only 3pm and both guys were well on their way to being blitzed, but we had a good time. roscoe mentioned that his birthday was coming up and i should go to his party. we exchanged numbers but nothing ever came of it. a week or two later (over memorial day weekend) patrick and i had our first "date".
this past friday i saw the crucible, which was done by rising sun, a company run by some friends of mine. i joined the cast for drinks at east 4th street bar, across the street from the theater (and around the corner from dempsy's). we were all drinking at tables set outside the bar on the sidewalk when this guy who looks a little familiar stumbles by. he is incredibly drunk and probably has no memory of the night. i take note that he's really cute (but really drunk) and try to remember if he was an actor who submitted for a part in our show (and that's why he looks familiar). then he bends over the railing and asks me to dance with him. his two friends with him seemed mortified. i tell him no, to dance with his pretty friend and he says that she's his sister and her boyfriend would bash his face in for it. they pull him away and suddenly he turns around, lifts his shirt and starts rubbing his chest and stomach and starts yelling "look at what you're missing." i must say he has a REALLY nice body.
so we all laugh about it and continue hanging out. about half an hour later, he walks by again, this time without his sister and her boyfriend. and starts saying to me "oh look at your face. look at your eyes. look at your dimples and smile." so i get up and walk over to him and introduce myself. he tells me his name is roscoe. i try to shake his hand and he pulls me too him to try to kiss me. i move my face and he slobbers all over my cheek. but yes, it all came back to me when he told me his name. this is, in fact, that same roscoe and it's almost exactly a year since we first met. and again this time i am single. meghan mentioned that it sounded like we were fated. as cute as he is, i don't want to be fated to a guy with questionable intelligence and a drinking problem...
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
i love alan cumming!
my friend eric was able to get me a free ticket to see three penny opera at studio 54. the show has gotten pretty scathing reviews, but i still wanted to see it because it starred alan cumming. i had just missed him when he was in cabaret and i didn't want to miss him again. and if the show sucked, it's not like i paid a lot for the ticket. :)
all in all, i really liked the show. alan, as always, was brilliant. he has amazing stage presence and you find yourself watching him even when he's not the center of attention. i was impressed with ana gasteyer's voice. i didn't know she could sing so well! as well as the majority of the cast (especially jim dale and the man who plays lucy brown...yes, in drag). cindi lauper was okay, but you could tell she wasn't trained to do 8 broadway shows a week. isaac mizrahi's costumes were a bit disappointing...while i felt like that was exactly how i would have costumed the show, i would have expected more from a famous designer (and with a huge costume budget). i could tell you exactly what stores on st. mark's place he got certain costumes from. one of the characters was even wearing a pair of pants identical to ones i convinced my roommate to buy from religious sex (may it rest in peace). there were maybe two items that i could tell he had made especially for the show.
but anyway, it was an enjoyable show and i think the bad reviews are full of crap. so afterwards eric and i decide to slip around to the stage door to see if we can see any of the celebrities leave. i especially want to see alan cumming because i love him. when i went to see spamalot, i waited at the stage door for over an hour just to meet tim curry (because i love him too) and he never came out. i got hank azaria's autograph, though, but i didn't really care. i hoped that this wouldn't be a repeat of that incident.
there weren't very many people waiting back there. mostly it was a group of gay guys waiting, who were totally being checked out and picked up by the chorus boys leaving. there was also this really creepy makeup artist guy standing by me that i think was freaking out the actors. so ana gasteyer came out and signed programs. she seemed a bit nervous. then nelly mckay, who skipped our section (much to eric's disappointment). then cindi lauper. she's looking really old and was not very nice at all. and then alan! he signed my program and i told him that i thought he was brilliant and that he inspired me, etc. and when he handed my program back he wouldn't let go. he just stood there holding on to it, less that two feet away, looking at me. and that was my moment. i could have said something brilliant, that he would have remembered or that would have caused him to strike up a conversation with me...but no. my brain froze. i just stood there with this huge grin on my face looking into his eyes. i couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't have made me sound stupid or like a stalker. then the creepy makeup guy interrupted and our moment was over. he moved on. i should have asked him for a hug. thinking back...that's what i should have done. i'll know now, should i ever to happen across him on the street. it is new york, you know...there is always that possibility.
so i finally met one of my idols (i don't care that he did son of the mask or spice girls. he's a fucking brilliant actor) and my brain turned to goo. what would happen if i were to ever meet someone i really love, like david bowie or julianne moore? i'd probably just start sobbing and fall to their feet. i'm not kidding. i don't think i'd have a choice.
but even though i missed my chance to touch mr. cumming, i was floating on air for the next day or so after our meeting. yay!
all in all, i really liked the show. alan, as always, was brilliant. he has amazing stage presence and you find yourself watching him even when he's not the center of attention. i was impressed with ana gasteyer's voice. i didn't know she could sing so well! as well as the majority of the cast (especially jim dale and the man who plays lucy brown...yes, in drag). cindi lauper was okay, but you could tell she wasn't trained to do 8 broadway shows a week. isaac mizrahi's costumes were a bit disappointing...while i felt like that was exactly how i would have costumed the show, i would have expected more from a famous designer (and with a huge costume budget). i could tell you exactly what stores on st. mark's place he got certain costumes from. one of the characters was even wearing a pair of pants identical to ones i convinced my roommate to buy from religious sex (may it rest in peace). there were maybe two items that i could tell he had made especially for the show.
but anyway, it was an enjoyable show and i think the bad reviews are full of crap. so afterwards eric and i decide to slip around to the stage door to see if we can see any of the celebrities leave. i especially want to see alan cumming because i love him. when i went to see spamalot, i waited at the stage door for over an hour just to meet tim curry (because i love him too) and he never came out. i got hank azaria's autograph, though, but i didn't really care. i hoped that this wouldn't be a repeat of that incident.
there weren't very many people waiting back there. mostly it was a group of gay guys waiting, who were totally being checked out and picked up by the chorus boys leaving. there was also this really creepy makeup artist guy standing by me that i think was freaking out the actors. so ana gasteyer came out and signed programs. she seemed a bit nervous. then nelly mckay, who skipped our section (much to eric's disappointment). then cindi lauper. she's looking really old and was not very nice at all. and then alan! he signed my program and i told him that i thought he was brilliant and that he inspired me, etc. and when he handed my program back he wouldn't let go. he just stood there holding on to it, less that two feet away, looking at me. and that was my moment. i could have said something brilliant, that he would have remembered or that would have caused him to strike up a conversation with me...but no. my brain froze. i just stood there with this huge grin on my face looking into his eyes. i couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't have made me sound stupid or like a stalker. then the creepy makeup guy interrupted and our moment was over. he moved on. i should have asked him for a hug. thinking back...that's what i should have done. i'll know now, should i ever to happen across him on the street. it is new york, you know...there is always that possibility.
so i finally met one of my idols (i don't care that he did son of the mask or spice girls. he's a fucking brilliant actor) and my brain turned to goo. what would happen if i were to ever meet someone i really love, like david bowie or julianne moore? i'd probably just start sobbing and fall to their feet. i'm not kidding. i don't think i'd have a choice.
but even though i missed my chance to touch mr. cumming, i was floating on air for the next day or so after our meeting. yay!
Saturday, May 06, 2006
only in williamsburg pt. 1
i had heard about this controversial statue of a naked britney spears giving birth on a bear skin rug. (technically i think the sculpture is called something like "the birth of sean preston") oddly enough, this sculpture is supposed to be pro-life. after viewing it, i don't think any one would ever want to have a child. i found out that the gallery it was at was just a short walk from my apartment, so a few weekends ago (on the last day it was showing), my roommate hatim and our friend eric accompanied me to capla kesting gallery. i felt like i had to go, seeing as the gallery was so close to where i live AND it was free. how could you pass up the chance? in ten or twenty years when people are reminising and laughing, i can tell them that i was there. i saw the naked britney spears. and it was gross.
the gallery itself is a converted car garage and is actually pretty tiny (but meticulously clean and white). the sculpture was the only thing on display other than a podium with some info about the gallery and a display case with some pro-life propaganda in it.
it's odd that a pro-life sculpture of such a high profile would be on display in trendy, liberal williamsburg. it must have just been for the shock value.
so we walked around and viewed her from all angles. the sculpture doesn't even really look like her (the artist admits that britney did not actually pose for it and britney has not released any comments about it, either for or against the piece) and the hips are far too wide for a woman of that small frame. and yes, it's all anatomically correct. what makes it more disturbing is that it's got a pinkish glaze over it that makes it almost as if you're looking at a real person.
i think hatim and eric were much more traumatized than i was. so we stopped by this amazing french place on the way home for crepes and coffee and all was well with the world again.
i'm including some pictures...not for the weak of heart (or stomach)...
the gallery itself is a converted car garage and is actually pretty tiny (but meticulously clean and white). the sculpture was the only thing on display other than a podium with some info about the gallery and a display case with some pro-life propaganda in it.
it's odd that a pro-life sculpture of such a high profile would be on display in trendy, liberal williamsburg. it must have just been for the shock value.
so we walked around and viewed her from all angles. the sculpture doesn't even really look like her (the artist admits that britney did not actually pose for it and britney has not released any comments about it, either for or against the piece) and the hips are far too wide for a woman of that small frame. and yes, it's all anatomically correct. what makes it more disturbing is that it's got a pinkish glaze over it that makes it almost as if you're looking at a real person.
i think hatim and eric were much more traumatized than i was. so we stopped by this amazing french place on the way home for crepes and coffee and all was well with the world again.
i'm including some pictures...not for the weak of heart (or stomach)...
i've been busy
i've been SO busy these last few weeks...which not only means i'm sleep deprived, but that there are also a number of things i want to write about here.
what you may ask has been keeping me busier than usual? well, this past saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday, and wednesday, i was playing hall monitor (for a total of 20 hours...i counted) for my theater company's auditions for our two summer shows, the first quarto hamlet and an original, priscilla. i'm still recovering, but the decisions have been made, the parts have been offered, and we are awaiting a few replies.
now the real fun begins.
what you may ask has been keeping me busier than usual? well, this past saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday, and wednesday, i was playing hall monitor (for a total of 20 hours...i counted) for my theater company's auditions for our two summer shows, the first quarto hamlet and an original, priscilla. i'm still recovering, but the decisions have been made, the parts have been offered, and we are awaiting a few replies.
now the real fun begins.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
i'm so excited!
i just read this article and i think this could potentially be a brilliant movie! i can't wait for it!
Casting: Elton John Ditches Disney
Elton John's CGI-animated musical "Gnomeo & Juliet" still has a heartbeat. According to the Hollywood Reporter, this version of Shakespeare's tragic romance set in the world of tacky garden gnomes will move from Walt Disney Studios to sister division Miramax. When Disney bought Pixar and appointed John Lasseter as its new animation head earlier this year, the long-in-the-works "Gnomeo" was shut down. Discovering it was available, new Miramax president Daniel Battsek jumped at the chance to bring John's edgy musical to his revitalized division and a deal was struck. In its new incarnation, "Gnomeo" will most likely be animated by an independent British animation house, where the production will now be based. With a script in place, plans now call for John to collaborate with Oscar-winning lyricist Tim Rice on the film's songs. Kate Winslet still remains attached to voice Juliet, but no word on who will play her Gnomeo. It's tough when the leading candidate, the "Roaming Gnome," is always ... roaming.
Casting: Elton John Ditches Disney
Elton John's CGI-animated musical "Gnomeo & Juliet" still has a heartbeat. According to the Hollywood Reporter, this version of Shakespeare's tragic romance set in the world of tacky garden gnomes will move from Walt Disney Studios to sister division Miramax. When Disney bought Pixar and appointed John Lasseter as its new animation head earlier this year, the long-in-the-works "Gnomeo" was shut down. Discovering it was available, new Miramax president Daniel Battsek jumped at the chance to bring John's edgy musical to his revitalized division and a deal was struck. In its new incarnation, "Gnomeo" will most likely be animated by an independent British animation house, where the production will now be based. With a script in place, plans now call for John to collaborate with Oscar-winning lyricist Tim Rice on the film's songs. Kate Winslet still remains attached to voice Juliet, but no word on who will play her Gnomeo. It's tough when the leading candidate, the "Roaming Gnome," is always ... roaming.
Friday, April 14, 2006
please send good thoughts my way
the mega millions lottery jackpot is $220,000,000. the drawing is tonight.
yesterday at work, three co-workers and i were talking about the recent trend of groups of people winning lottery money. i think the most recent group was a bunch of packers from a meatpacking plant, who pooled their money.
so we decided to do it. the 4 of us pooled our money and i bought the tickets last night. if we win the full amount, my cut would be $55,000,000. not to shabby, eh? i'd be happy even if we just won $100. but i do have to admit, i have most of how i will invest/spend the millions already planned. i want to buy an old williamsburg warehouse and build a theater in it. i want at least one performance space, some rehearsal spaces and a gallery space. if there's any room left, i'd like a few apartments, that i would use to provide subsidized housing for artists. as part of the requirements for them to live there, they'd also have to help manage the arts complex. it'd be my dream to build and manage something like that.
please send your good thoughts my way tonight. i wanna win the jackpot!
yesterday at work, three co-workers and i were talking about the recent trend of groups of people winning lottery money. i think the most recent group was a bunch of packers from a meatpacking plant, who pooled their money.
so we decided to do it. the 4 of us pooled our money and i bought the tickets last night. if we win the full amount, my cut would be $55,000,000. not to shabby, eh? i'd be happy even if we just won $100. but i do have to admit, i have most of how i will invest/spend the millions already planned. i want to buy an old williamsburg warehouse and build a theater in it. i want at least one performance space, some rehearsal spaces and a gallery space. if there's any room left, i'd like a few apartments, that i would use to provide subsidized housing for artists. as part of the requirements for them to live there, they'd also have to help manage the arts complex. it'd be my dream to build and manage something like that.
please send your good thoughts my way tonight. i wanna win the jackpot!
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
good vibrations
last night i went to a concert at warsaw, a really interesting venue in greenpoint. most days of the week, it's the polish national home, hosting events for that orginization. then a few times a week they host indie rock concerts. they sell pergoies and other polish foods and the stage gives me flashbacks of highschool plays. the quirkiness adds to the cool factor AND it's walking distance from home. :)
the headliner of the show was regina spektor. i first saw her perform when she opened for keane at radio city music hall. i was far more impressed with her than the headlining band at the time, so when i heard about this show, i jumped at the chance to see her again. the recordings just don't do her justice. anyone impressed with her cds should definately see her live.
she had two bands open for her. paul, hatim and i had contemplated skipping them, but it had been so long since i've seen new music (besides metal bands) that i was up for seeing them even if it meant going without paul and hatim. (by the way, paul and hatim had never seen regina, but were interested after all of my raves about her. i do not think they were disappointed).
the first band up was the hysterics. apparently they had REALLY nice guitars. i wouldn't know the difference but my escorts couldn't stop talking about the guitars. the guys in the band looked super young, but i was pretty sure they were a local band of twenty-somethings and they just looked young (like people tell me i do). when i got home that night i looked them up on myspace. nope, they're all 16 and 17 years old. they sounded pretty good and may mature into something really good. they were a lot of fun to watch though, even when the lead singer coulding figure out his guitar strap and needed help from the roadie. and the guitarist had a sex pistols shirt on, which is always a good thing.
the next person up was jenny owen youngs. and she was amazing. i've had her song "fuck was i" running through my head all day today. her voice was incredible and she's an awesome guitar player. she told a story about opening for regina in boston and a guy showed up with a rubber fish in his sleeve for her to sign. i thought she was pretty cute and was looking for an opportunity to talk to her after the show without sounding like an idiot. with hatim's encouragement i was going to ask her to sign my boobs (and then take a picture so i could save it for posterity...like on my birthday). but the show ran really late and i was tired from fighting with the crowd and straining to see over people's heads (it's really hard when you're only 5'4"), so i ended up not doing it. i kind of regret that, but i was grumpy and had to go to work the next morning. i didn't want to fight through the crowd to buy her cd, but i did order it from her website as soon as i got home. can't wait to hear it. i really need to learn the lyrics to "fuck was i". i only know the first line and the chorus so i keep singing "love grows in me like a tumor. parasite bent on devouring it's host." and then "what the fuck was i thinking" over and over and over.
and of course regina was brilliant. she has this one song where she plays the piano with one hand, hits her piano bench with a drum stick, stomps a melody with her foot and sings all at once. and it sounds good! she does crazy things with her voice as she's playing complex classical music on the piano...she really should be a lot more famous than she is! if you ever have a chance to see her (or jenny owen youngs) please do. they're both great!
i know i'm raving a lot, but it's been so long since i've been to a concert that was my type of music (whatever that is). the boyfriend's in a metal band, so most of the new music i hear are other metal bands that could only hope to be as good as his band. and i'm not saying this because i'm partial. they really are good. and if the other bands they played with were as good, i wouldn't mind seeing them so much, ya know? i kind of feel like a bad girlfriend, but metal's not my thing.
but anyway, last night was SO much fun...people watching, laughing, and good music. very refreshing. i needed that.
the headliner of the show was regina spektor. i first saw her perform when she opened for keane at radio city music hall. i was far more impressed with her than the headlining band at the time, so when i heard about this show, i jumped at the chance to see her again. the recordings just don't do her justice. anyone impressed with her cds should definately see her live.
she had two bands open for her. paul, hatim and i had contemplated skipping them, but it had been so long since i've seen new music (besides metal bands) that i was up for seeing them even if it meant going without paul and hatim. (by the way, paul and hatim had never seen regina, but were interested after all of my raves about her. i do not think they were disappointed).
the first band up was the hysterics. apparently they had REALLY nice guitars. i wouldn't know the difference but my escorts couldn't stop talking about the guitars. the guys in the band looked super young, but i was pretty sure they were a local band of twenty-somethings and they just looked young (like people tell me i do). when i got home that night i looked them up on myspace. nope, they're all 16 and 17 years old. they sounded pretty good and may mature into something really good. they were a lot of fun to watch though, even when the lead singer coulding figure out his guitar strap and needed help from the roadie. and the guitarist had a sex pistols shirt on, which is always a good thing.
the next person up was jenny owen youngs. and she was amazing. i've had her song "fuck was i" running through my head all day today. her voice was incredible and she's an awesome guitar player. she told a story about opening for regina in boston and a guy showed up with a rubber fish in his sleeve for her to sign. i thought she was pretty cute and was looking for an opportunity to talk to her after the show without sounding like an idiot. with hatim's encouragement i was going to ask her to sign my boobs (and then take a picture so i could save it for posterity...like on my birthday). but the show ran really late and i was tired from fighting with the crowd and straining to see over people's heads (it's really hard when you're only 5'4"), so i ended up not doing it. i kind of regret that, but i was grumpy and had to go to work the next morning. i didn't want to fight through the crowd to buy her cd, but i did order it from her website as soon as i got home. can't wait to hear it. i really need to learn the lyrics to "fuck was i". i only know the first line and the chorus so i keep singing "love grows in me like a tumor. parasite bent on devouring it's host." and then "what the fuck was i thinking" over and over and over.
and of course regina was brilliant. she has this one song where she plays the piano with one hand, hits her piano bench with a drum stick, stomps a melody with her foot and sings all at once. and it sounds good! she does crazy things with her voice as she's playing complex classical music on the piano...she really should be a lot more famous than she is! if you ever have a chance to see her (or jenny owen youngs) please do. they're both great!
i know i'm raving a lot, but it's been so long since i've been to a concert that was my type of music (whatever that is). the boyfriend's in a metal band, so most of the new music i hear are other metal bands that could only hope to be as good as his band. and i'm not saying this because i'm partial. they really are good. and if the other bands they played with were as good, i wouldn't mind seeing them so much, ya know? i kind of feel like a bad girlfriend, but metal's not my thing.
but anyway, last night was SO much fun...people watching, laughing, and good music. very refreshing. i needed that.
Friday, April 07, 2006
i didn't intend the aerosmith reference, but it's accurate
i'm restless. i need an adventure. i need one of those nights that, while it's happening, you know you'll look back on it fondly for years to come. i need new experiences and new people. it feels like i used to have moments like these so frequently and now my life has settled in to such a monotony. how do i recapture that passion? i feel like there's such a hole in my soul. how do i find that excitement again?
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
pic
Monday, April 03, 2006
a poem about my pain
a friend sent this poem to me a while back and i love it! it's too funny...and true. i just had to share.
My Pain Keeps Me Regular
--Edward Thomas Herrera
My pain
My pain
My pain
My pain is better than anyone else’s
My pain is more serious than anyone else’s
My pain is more important than anyone else’s
Compared to my pain
Everyone else’s pain is petty
Everyone else’s pain is meaningless
Everyone else’s pain is a day at the beach a walk in the park a
Fucking
Piece of fucking cake
It’s my pain
My pain my pain
My pain beating breasts
My pain licking open sores
My pain crying thick red tears of arterial blood
My pain twisting the knife blade around and around and around
My pain representative of all the injustice that has ever happened
Is happening
Or will happen to anyone anywhere anyhow
My pain
My pain
My pain
I blame my lovers
I blame my parents
I blame organized religion
I blame the current administration
I blame the capitalist system of economics
But most importantly
I blame everyone who has ever lived
Because they have all been party to my torment
If not directly
Then indirectly
If you don’t believe me
Just give me a little time
I can find blood on your hands
Somehow somewhere some way
Trust me
My pain
My pain
My pain
Some say I need to get over it transcend
Some say I need to put it all behind me go on with my life
Some say I may require professional help in order to accomplish all this
But what do they know?
They’ve never experienced my pain
My pain is so truly enormously unique
If I don’t dwell on it then just who would?
My pain
My pain
My pain
Boy howdy does the world owe me but big time
My pain
My pain
My pain
My pain
Allows me to be bitter and resentful
Towards those who have caused my suffering
Towards those who do not share my suffering
Towards those who have not heard about my suffering
My pain
Releases me from the responsibility
Of having to accomplish something with my life
Because I can always blame my failure on my status
As a member of a socially disenfranchised group of people
My pain
Makes me the most important person in this room
And if you don’t agree with me
That’s because you don’t understand
And there’s something horribly horribly wrong with you
Thank you
My Pain Keeps Me Regular
--Edward Thomas Herrera
My pain
My pain
My pain
My pain is better than anyone else’s
My pain is more serious than anyone else’s
My pain is more important than anyone else’s
Compared to my pain
Everyone else’s pain is petty
Everyone else’s pain is meaningless
Everyone else’s pain is a day at the beach a walk in the park a
Fucking
Piece of fucking cake
It’s my pain
My pain my pain
My pain beating breasts
My pain licking open sores
My pain crying thick red tears of arterial blood
My pain twisting the knife blade around and around and around
My pain representative of all the injustice that has ever happened
Is happening
Or will happen to anyone anywhere anyhow
My pain
My pain
My pain
I blame my lovers
I blame my parents
I blame organized religion
I blame the current administration
I blame the capitalist system of economics
But most importantly
I blame everyone who has ever lived
Because they have all been party to my torment
If not directly
Then indirectly
If you don’t believe me
Just give me a little time
I can find blood on your hands
Somehow somewhere some way
Trust me
My pain
My pain
My pain
Some say I need to get over it transcend
Some say I need to put it all behind me go on with my life
Some say I may require professional help in order to accomplish all this
But what do they know?
They’ve never experienced my pain
My pain is so truly enormously unique
If I don’t dwell on it then just who would?
My pain
My pain
My pain
Boy howdy does the world owe me but big time
My pain
My pain
My pain
My pain
Allows me to be bitter and resentful
Towards those who have caused my suffering
Towards those who do not share my suffering
Towards those who have not heard about my suffering
My pain
Releases me from the responsibility
Of having to accomplish something with my life
Because I can always blame my failure on my status
As a member of a socially disenfranchised group of people
My pain
Makes me the most important person in this room
And if you don’t agree with me
That’s because you don’t understand
And there’s something horribly horribly wrong with you
Thank you
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
walking the walk
last year i participated in the aids walk with my friend emily. together we raised over $1300 for the cause. this year, i am participating in it again, but this time with my two theater companies, new world theatre and point of you productions. now this is ambitious because, not only do we need to raise money for our upcoming shows, but we also are now trying to raise money for the aids walk. i'll try to keep you updated on our progress in reaching our goal. right now we have it set at $1,500. i think five walkers (so far) can handle that. :)
i'm excited about it...i really enjoyed it last year and it makes me feel like i'm making a difference, even if it is a small one. if any of you kind hearted people out there would like to donate to the aids walk, please click here.
your donations are tax deductible (as they also are when you donate to nwt through fractured atlas or to point of you).
thank you!
i'm excited about it...i really enjoyed it last year and it makes me feel like i'm making a difference, even if it is a small one. if any of you kind hearted people out there would like to donate to the aids walk, please click here.
your donations are tax deductible (as they also are when you donate to nwt through fractured atlas or to point of you).
thank you!
Monday, March 20, 2006
out of sight does not mean out of mind
a strange thing has happened over the last few months. more and more people from my past have started popping up. not so weird for many who don't move far from home, but i grew up in a very transient community on another continent. it felt like every year i had to make a new best friend and join a new social group because so many people were always moving away or just moving to the country. i lost touch with most people from high school and from college too. the ones i have kept in touch with have become very dear friends. i guess i never expected so many people to get in touch with me and so suddenly. was there some milestone, rite of passage, or unconscious thing that i somehow missed or skipped over?
i was used to running into someone on the street every once in a while. i mean, i'm pretty sure practically everyone visits new york at least once. and you expect it when you go home for christmas and are almost disappointed if you don't bump into anyone. actually, for the last few years i didn't know of any of my old friends who went back to bahrain for the holidays.
but it's really weird when you're two worlds, your past and your present, collide when you get an email or a message in your inbox on some online community like myspace or friendster. it actually got pretty overwhelming at one point. every day there was one or two new people who had tracked me down on myspace.
i feel pretty bad, though. most of them i never wrote back to. i just had so much going on with the day job and theater and stuff, i never got a chance to go back on and then after a while, it just seems weird if you write them back after ages have gone by. and then if you do, are you expected to strike up that friendship that fizzled out almost 10 years ago? i admit it. i am terrible at keeping in touch. i can't even keep my own life straight, let alone be a penpal to someone i haven't seen in a decade. it doesn't mean i feel any less for them. there are people i still miss years later, but us being so far apart, i just can't keep dwelling on it. i simply don't have time.
there were people finding me that i hadn't seen or conversed with since the 8th grade!
a boy i had a crush on in 8th grade sent me an email. i never would have thought he would have remembered me. he never gave me the time of day or even really spoke to me. now he's studying marine biology in scotland and getting his masters degree. what would i say to him? another boy who made my life miserable for a better part of a year found me on my space. i was shocked when i saw his picture. i couldn't answer him for fear of bringing up all that old hurt. best to leave all of that buried. did that asshole really think we were friends and why would he ever think to contact me?
another girl i sat next to in band class for a year found me, too. i remember her mostly because of her unusual name. i guess that's why she remembered me too. maybe it's my name, maybe it's because my mother was a teacher in my school, or it's because i'm probably easier to find than most on the internet. if you do a google search for me, you'll get a whole list of reviews and websites that have my name on them.
i must confess for googling many an old friend's name, trying to find out what they're up to. many people who meant a lot to me, i couldn't find a trace of or their name was so common that it'd be impossible to sift through everything to figure out if it was about them or not.
i guess i just find it strange that i could have touched that many people, that they'd remember me. i know that more than twice as many people have meant the world to me and have shaped me in ways they would have never imagined. but i've been called over-sensitive more than once and i do tend to cling to the past a bit more than what is normal.
i remembered every one of the people who contacted me (well, except for the boy who claimed he rode my bus and one who was 2 or 3 grades younger than me). they've all shaped me in one way or the other. i guess i should turn over a new leaf and try to start writing these people back, if for no other reason to say thank you for thinking of me, even if we haven't seen each other in a decade.
god, i'm getting old.
i was used to running into someone on the street every once in a while. i mean, i'm pretty sure practically everyone visits new york at least once. and you expect it when you go home for christmas and are almost disappointed if you don't bump into anyone. actually, for the last few years i didn't know of any of my old friends who went back to bahrain for the holidays.
but it's really weird when you're two worlds, your past and your present, collide when you get an email or a message in your inbox on some online community like myspace or friendster. it actually got pretty overwhelming at one point. every day there was one or two new people who had tracked me down on myspace.
i feel pretty bad, though. most of them i never wrote back to. i just had so much going on with the day job and theater and stuff, i never got a chance to go back on and then after a while, it just seems weird if you write them back after ages have gone by. and then if you do, are you expected to strike up that friendship that fizzled out almost 10 years ago? i admit it. i am terrible at keeping in touch. i can't even keep my own life straight, let alone be a penpal to someone i haven't seen in a decade. it doesn't mean i feel any less for them. there are people i still miss years later, but us being so far apart, i just can't keep dwelling on it. i simply don't have time.
there were people finding me that i hadn't seen or conversed with since the 8th grade!
a boy i had a crush on in 8th grade sent me an email. i never would have thought he would have remembered me. he never gave me the time of day or even really spoke to me. now he's studying marine biology in scotland and getting his masters degree. what would i say to him? another boy who made my life miserable for a better part of a year found me on my space. i was shocked when i saw his picture. i couldn't answer him for fear of bringing up all that old hurt. best to leave all of that buried. did that asshole really think we were friends and why would he ever think to contact me?
another girl i sat next to in band class for a year found me, too. i remember her mostly because of her unusual name. i guess that's why she remembered me too. maybe it's my name, maybe it's because my mother was a teacher in my school, or it's because i'm probably easier to find than most on the internet. if you do a google search for me, you'll get a whole list of reviews and websites that have my name on them.
i must confess for googling many an old friend's name, trying to find out what they're up to. many people who meant a lot to me, i couldn't find a trace of or their name was so common that it'd be impossible to sift through everything to figure out if it was about them or not.
i guess i just find it strange that i could have touched that many people, that they'd remember me. i know that more than twice as many people have meant the world to me and have shaped me in ways they would have never imagined. but i've been called over-sensitive more than once and i do tend to cling to the past a bit more than what is normal.
i remembered every one of the people who contacted me (well, except for the boy who claimed he rode my bus and one who was 2 or 3 grades younger than me). they've all shaped me in one way or the other. i guess i should turn over a new leaf and try to start writing these people back, if for no other reason to say thank you for thinking of me, even if we haven't seen each other in a decade.
god, i'm getting old.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
"where do thoughts come from? they just appear"
my theater company is putting on two shows in rep this summer: the first quarto of hamlet and an original play based on hamlet (but all the genders are reversed) called pricilla. i've been known to do a little costume desigining in the past, and usually with a budget of next to nothing. it was decided that i'll be designing both shows (because the director for one of the shows had someone she wanted, but we would have to fly them in...which we REALLY can't afford at this point) as well as acting in one of them. i only agreed to design both if i could act. i'm really itching to be on stage right now. and why would i be putting all of this work in to this company if i couldn't do what i want, right?
but i'm starting to get a little nervous and psych myself out about the designing...two shows at once...while acting. and i don't even know what the concept for hamlet is yet. it could be scary and complicated. do i have that much creativity??? where will i find my inspiration?
i know i'll do it and do it well (at least i hope so). i usually do. but it doesn't mean i won't stress about it before.
at least it'll all be over by august so i can at least enjoy the latter part of the summer.
but i'm starting to get a little nervous and psych myself out about the designing...two shows at once...while acting. and i don't even know what the concept for hamlet is yet. it could be scary and complicated. do i have that much creativity??? where will i find my inspiration?
i know i'll do it and do it well (at least i hope so). i usually do. but it doesn't mean i won't stress about it before.
at least it'll all be over by august so i can at least enjoy the latter part of the summer.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
lobster bobs
since bob liked my last post so much, i was curious what i'd find if i googled "lobster bob". i found some pretty interesting sights.
bob lobster the restaurant
http://www.boblobster.com/
you're famous, bob! you have a dvd about you! called let's go lobstering with lobster bob.
http://store.hamiltonmarine.com/browse.cfm/4,26932.htm
a fan fiction author named lobster bob. i think he writes about anime.
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/231396/
the photographic story of the boiling of a lobster named bob:
http://www.vision.caltech.edu/pmoreels/Images/Bob/index.html
the lobster institute...i'm not sure if they have a lobster bob or not.
http://www.lobsterinstitute.org/index.php?page=18
and of course this cartoon
bob lobster the restaurant
http://www.boblobster.com/
you're famous, bob! you have a dvd about you! called let's go lobstering with lobster bob.
http://store.hamiltonmarine.com/browse.cfm/4,26932.htm
a fan fiction author named lobster bob. i think he writes about anime.
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/231396/
the photographic story of the boiling of a lobster named bob:
http://www.vision.caltech.edu/pmoreels/Images/Bob/index.html
the lobster institute...i'm not sure if they have a lobster bob or not.
http://www.lobsterinstitute.org/index.php?page=18
and of course this cartoon
it looks just like bob!!!!
i have a friend nicknamed lobster bob because he turns red all the time and has red hair. really, the man is unique. this news story got brought up this evening. it looks just like bob! :) well, if he got a bleach job. i bet bob is red right now reading this. hee hee
Divers discover new crustacean
Animal is covered with blond hairlike strands
Scientists have named the new crustacean "Kiwa hirsuta."
Updated: 10:54 p.m. ET March 7, 2006
PARIS - A team of American-led divers has discovered a new crustacean in the South Pacific that resembles a lobster and is covered with what looks like silky, blond fur, French researchers said Tuesday.
Scientists said the animal, which they named Kiwa hirsuta, was so distinct from other species that they created a new family and genus for it.
The divers found the animal in waters 7,540 feet (2,300 meters) deep at a site 900 miles (1,440 kilometers) south of Easter Island last year, according to Michel Segonzac of the French Institute for Sea Exploration.
The new crustacean is described in the journal of the National Museum of Natural History in Paris.
The animal is white and just shy of 6 inches (15 centimeters) long — about the size of a salad plate.
In what Segonzac described as a “surprising characteristic,” the animal’s pincers are covered with sinuous, hairlike strands.
It is also blind. The researchers found it had only “the vestige of a membrane” in place of eyes, Segonzac said.
The researchers said that while legions of new ocean species are discovered each year, it is quite rare to find one that merits a new family.
The family was named Kiwaida, from Kiwa, the goddess of crustaceans in Polynesian mythology.
The diving expedition was organized by Robert Vrijenhoek of the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute in California.
Divers discover new crustacean
Animal is covered with blond hairlike strands
Scientists have named the new crustacean "Kiwa hirsuta."
Updated: 10:54 p.m. ET March 7, 2006
PARIS - A team of American-led divers has discovered a new crustacean in the South Pacific that resembles a lobster and is covered with what looks like silky, blond fur, French researchers said Tuesday.
Scientists said the animal, which they named Kiwa hirsuta, was so distinct from other species that they created a new family and genus for it.
The divers found the animal in waters 7,540 feet (2,300 meters) deep at a site 900 miles (1,440 kilometers) south of Easter Island last year, according to Michel Segonzac of the French Institute for Sea Exploration.
The new crustacean is described in the journal of the National Museum of Natural History in Paris.
The animal is white and just shy of 6 inches (15 centimeters) long — about the size of a salad plate.
In what Segonzac described as a “surprising characteristic,” the animal’s pincers are covered with sinuous, hairlike strands.
It is also blind. The researchers found it had only “the vestige of a membrane” in place of eyes, Segonzac said.
The researchers said that while legions of new ocean species are discovered each year, it is quite rare to find one that merits a new family.
The family was named Kiwaida, from Kiwa, the goddess of crustaceans in Polynesian mythology.
The diving expedition was organized by Robert Vrijenhoek of the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute in California.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
"gotta find my destiny before it gets too late"
...and it didn't happen. last week i was at a read through of a draft of a new play my theater company is commissioning and the artistic director just happens to mention that a theater company we are familiar with lost the lease on their space and the complex is for rent. of course, i go nuts. every small nyc theater company prays for a place to call their home. that would have been the easiest way for us to start living our dream. of course it'd be hard, but suddenly it seemed like there was a light at the end of my tunnel.
the complex actually had two theaters (a 99 seat and a 40 seat) and three rehearsal spaces. i knew it'd be expensive, that we couldn't use the whole thing for ourselves, but we could set up as a management company, renting out the spaces when we weren't using them ourselves. a small business loan of maybe 6 months rent could get us off the ground. but what was the rent? the real estate broker wasn't returning bob's calls. i finally found the website and the listing for the property...it was almost $23,000 a month for the space. i desperately tried to make the math work for us...if we rented out the big space at $3500/week and the small space at $2000/week and rented the rehearsal spaces at $10/hr and had 100 hours a month of rental space we would just break even...and that didn't count utilities and everything else that went with the space. and that also meant that we'd have to have the spaces rented continuously. as much as i wanted it to, there was no way it would work. we're having issues of reaching our fundraising goal of making $7500 in donations this year for our next productions. how could we manage $23,000? i did mention that we should get two other companies to enter into the undertaking with us to split the cost (and risks), but that meant we'd need more time and organization than we had at the moment.
so again, my dreams and optimism have been dashed. but for a brief moment it seemed as if all that i had been striving for would be possible. i always read about these success stories where the artist overcomes incredible odds...or just has it fall in their lap. i want to be one of those stories. i've been working for it a long time. i need to be one of those stories.
i don't know how much more of the soul sucking day job i can take. i'm not cut out to work a 9-5:30 office job on madison avenue. but when do i give in and say it just won't happen? when do i give up and realize i need to build myself a career in something else besides theater? there has to be a time when all these ex-actors, filmmakers, etc. made the choice to conform. when was that? was it a conscious decision? did they really love what they did before? if so, how do they live with themselves now?
i know that i am most at piece with myself when i am working in a theater. it doesn't have to be acting. i designed costumes for a show in january and just going to the theater and fitting the actors had a calming effect on me. when i go long periods without acting i get very, very depressed. i can't help it. i need that creative outlet. i don't need or even want fame and fortune. i just want to be able to make a living at it...to support myself. that's all.
the complex actually had two theaters (a 99 seat and a 40 seat) and three rehearsal spaces. i knew it'd be expensive, that we couldn't use the whole thing for ourselves, but we could set up as a management company, renting out the spaces when we weren't using them ourselves. a small business loan of maybe 6 months rent could get us off the ground. but what was the rent? the real estate broker wasn't returning bob's calls. i finally found the website and the listing for the property...it was almost $23,000 a month for the space. i desperately tried to make the math work for us...if we rented out the big space at $3500/week and the small space at $2000/week and rented the rehearsal spaces at $10/hr and had 100 hours a month of rental space we would just break even...and that didn't count utilities and everything else that went with the space. and that also meant that we'd have to have the spaces rented continuously. as much as i wanted it to, there was no way it would work. we're having issues of reaching our fundraising goal of making $7500 in donations this year for our next productions. how could we manage $23,000? i did mention that we should get two other companies to enter into the undertaking with us to split the cost (and risks), but that meant we'd need more time and organization than we had at the moment.
so again, my dreams and optimism have been dashed. but for a brief moment it seemed as if all that i had been striving for would be possible. i always read about these success stories where the artist overcomes incredible odds...or just has it fall in their lap. i want to be one of those stories. i've been working for it a long time. i need to be one of those stories.
i don't know how much more of the soul sucking day job i can take. i'm not cut out to work a 9-5:30 office job on madison avenue. but when do i give in and say it just won't happen? when do i give up and realize i need to build myself a career in something else besides theater? there has to be a time when all these ex-actors, filmmakers, etc. made the choice to conform. when was that? was it a conscious decision? did they really love what they did before? if so, how do they live with themselves now?
i know that i am most at piece with myself when i am working in a theater. it doesn't have to be acting. i designed costumes for a show in january and just going to the theater and fitting the actors had a calming effect on me. when i go long periods without acting i get very, very depressed. i can't help it. i need that creative outlet. i don't need or even want fame and fortune. i just want to be able to make a living at it...to support myself. that's all.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
it may be knocking...
i can't stop thinking about it. i don't want to talk about it because i'm afraid i'll jinx it. but it may be a way for me to be able to start living my dream. i don't want to get ahead of myself but i always do. i buy a lottery ticket and on my way home before the drawing i'm already doing the math and spending the money i haven't won. i feel like i'm doing that with this situation, although this seems much, much more real. it would be amazing if it were possible. even more amazing if we could do it. and even more if we could pull it off. it all depends on a number tomorrow.
how am i going to sleep tonight?
how am i going to sleep tonight?
Thursday, February 23, 2006
sadly overlooked
having rewatched part of the movie the exorcism of emily rose with my roommate, i realized that a woman who should have been nominated for an oscar was overlooked. jennifer carpenter gave an amazing performance as the possessed emily rose, training like an athlete for the part. very little cgi or special effects were done to enhance jennifer's performance. her director even said that her audition tape made him rethink how the part could be played.
it is sad that many people dismissed this film as just another horror movie. in fact, it was more courtroom drama than horror flick, trying to present the points of view of both the believers and the skeptics. the possession scenes are flashback sequences during testimonies of witnesses and experts. it is not jennifer carpenter's fault that almost none of the script resembles the actual case that the film is based on.
now, i have only seen one of the four films for which the best supporting nominees are nominated for. i loved brokeback mountain and was very taken with michelle williams's performance, but her role had no where near an impact that jennifer carpenter's did. i hope to see her eventually get the praise and recognition she deserves. 
it is sad that many people dismissed this film as just another horror movie. in fact, it was more courtroom drama than horror flick, trying to present the points of view of both the believers and the skeptics. the possession scenes are flashback sequences during testimonies of witnesses and experts. it is not jennifer carpenter's fault that almost none of the script resembles the actual case that the film is based on.now, i have only seen one of the four films for which the best supporting nominees are nominated for. i loved brokeback mountain and was very taken with michelle williams's performance, but her role had no where near an impact that jennifer carpenter's did. i hope to see her eventually get the praise and recognition she deserves.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
what a coincidence!
i have a feeling i'll be blogging about hamlet for a while...at least until july. ;)
i did a little search on blogger and there's a blog covering hamlet right now. check it out:
http://bardseyeviewblog.blogspot.com/2006/02/hamlet-22-alas-poor-yorick.html
i did a little search on blogger and there's a blog covering hamlet right now. check it out:
http://bardseyeviewblog.blogspot.com/2006/02/hamlet-22-alas-poor-yorick.html
To Be (Horatio) or Not To Be (Ophelia)...that is the question/brokeback hamlet
since i first studied hamlet in 11th grade ib highers english, i have wanted to play ophelia. i guess playing ophelia is every actress's dream, though, isn't it?
so now that my theater company is doing hamlet (quarto 1) and i have a chance to possibly play the part and fufill my dream, i get an idea about another character in the play and get excited for that. am i shooting myself in the foot? what if this is my only chance to play ophelia?
ok, so here's my idea...what if horatio was a woman? in almost every scene hamlet professes his love for horatio (unlike ophelia). yes, i know it's only supposed to be brotherly love, but they sound like lovers for more than this reason. i envision them as horatio as hamlet's lover he met in college who actually has much more in common with him and ophelia as his high school sweetheart, who stayed at home but he never really broke up with when he went to college in wittemburg.
their first scene together goes roughly like this (in modern english):
hamlet: what are you doing here?
horatio: i came to see your father's funeral.
hamlet: i think not. you came to see my mother's wedding.
horatio: it was a shame that it followed so closely on your father's death.
i can totally imagine a scene before this one like the one in closer where alice is asking jude law's character (dan?) to go to his father's funeral with him while he's shaving. he's telling her no and she simply answers "i love you. why won't you let me go?"
i think it would be interesting to give ophelia a romantic rival. who's to say that one of the reasons she went mad isn't because she walked in on hamlet and horatio? and keeping with this idea, if we don't make horatio a chick, what about making hamlet and he gay lovers? then you could stage a brokeback mountain moment where ophelia walks on, sees them kissing and then walks off in shock. it'd be brilliant...and edgy. or if not edgy, at least a little different.
i'm not sure i've convinced bob (who may be directing the show) of either of these ideas. but i think they're pretty good idea, making horatio, normally a pretty drab character, quite interesting.
so what should i do?
so now that my theater company is doing hamlet (quarto 1) and i have a chance to possibly play the part and fufill my dream, i get an idea about another character in the play and get excited for that. am i shooting myself in the foot? what if this is my only chance to play ophelia?
ok, so here's my idea...what if horatio was a woman? in almost every scene hamlet professes his love for horatio (unlike ophelia). yes, i know it's only supposed to be brotherly love, but they sound like lovers for more than this reason. i envision them as horatio as hamlet's lover he met in college who actually has much more in common with him and ophelia as his high school sweetheart, who stayed at home but he never really broke up with when he went to college in wittemburg.
their first scene together goes roughly like this (in modern english):
hamlet: what are you doing here?
horatio: i came to see your father's funeral.
hamlet: i think not. you came to see my mother's wedding.
horatio: it was a shame that it followed so closely on your father's death.
i can totally imagine a scene before this one like the one in closer where alice is asking jude law's character (dan?) to go to his father's funeral with him while he's shaving. he's telling her no and she simply answers "i love you. why won't you let me go?"
i think it would be interesting to give ophelia a romantic rival. who's to say that one of the reasons she went mad isn't because she walked in on hamlet and horatio? and keeping with this idea, if we don't make horatio a chick, what about making hamlet and he gay lovers? then you could stage a brokeback mountain moment where ophelia walks on, sees them kissing and then walks off in shock. it'd be brilliant...and edgy. or if not edgy, at least a little different.
i'm not sure i've convinced bob (who may be directing the show) of either of these ideas. but i think they're pretty good idea, making horatio, normally a pretty drab character, quite interesting.
so what should i do?
Friday, February 17, 2006
to the 21st century and beyond...
i've caught the blog bug (wow, say that three times fast). two theater companies i work with have started blogs and we've been asked to contribute posts. i was never one for blogs. i never saw the point, except for once when i needed to catch up with a friend i hadn't seen in a while. he sent me the link to his blog and instantly i was filled in on the happenings of his life in the year we hadn't seen each other.
so it turns out that i've been the most frequent and enthusiastic poster on the new world theatre blog. i know we're trying to make ourselves seem professional and all of that, i figured i should start this personal blog to get out everything i need to get out so i can reserve my "professional" posting for the theater company blog. you interested in seeing it? here ya go: www.newworldtheatre.org/blog
over the last two months, i have really made a leap, technologically speaking. i got a new, beautiful laptop, named clementine. and i got her a sister, ipod nano. and now i'm writing in a blog. boy, am i just hipper than hip. what next? a crackberry like my friend simon?
so it turns out that i've been the most frequent and enthusiastic poster on the new world theatre blog. i know we're trying to make ourselves seem professional and all of that, i figured i should start this personal blog to get out everything i need to get out so i can reserve my "professional" posting for the theater company blog. you interested in seeing it? here ya go: www.newworldtheatre.org/blog
over the last two months, i have really made a leap, technologically speaking. i got a new, beautiful laptop, named clementine. and i got her a sister, ipod nano. and now i'm writing in a blog. boy, am i just hipper than hip. what next? a crackberry like my friend simon?
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