cycles

so my boyfriend and i broke up. i don't need to worry about him reading this because he never really took an interest in what i was doing in my life and although i did send him this link a few times, i don't think he ever bothered to visit my blog. there'd be no reason for him to start now.
to answer some questions that were put forth to me about it: yes, the relationship was troubled. yes, i knew it was eventually going to end. yes, i had considered breaking up with him in the past, but this was his decision. it came out of the blue for me because in our last serious conversation we had regarding our relationship, he said he was happy with the way things were, etc., etc. and didn't understand why i was unsatisfied. also our last day spent together was totally wonderful...the best day we had together, i think, in months. apparently, though, even that day he was planning the break up. what hurt the most though was what he said to me and that i know that there is something he is not telling me that sparked the event. i know ultimately it's for the best, but it still hurts.

now that that's out of the way, the real reason for this blog entry...

i feel that i'm back in a similar place as i was this same time of year last year. weird things keep happening to me, which makes it obvious...

last year and pretty much this time, bob and i decided to play pool one afternoon at dempsy's pub on 2nd ave. eventually we were challenged by two guys, one of whom i was pretty attracted to named roscoe. it was probably only 3pm and both guys were well on their way to being blitzed, but we had a good time. roscoe mentioned that his birthday was coming up and i should go to his party. we exchanged numbers but nothing ever came of it. a week or two later (over memorial day weekend) patrick and i had our first "date".
this past friday i saw the crucible, which was done by rising sun, a company run by some friends of mine. i joined the cast for drinks at east 4th street bar, across the street from the theater (and around the corner from dempsy's). we were all drinking at tables set outside the bar on the sidewalk when this guy who looks a little familiar stumbles by. he is incredibly drunk and probably has no memory of the night. i take note that he's really cute (but really drunk) and try to remember if he was an actor who submitted for a part in our show (and that's why he looks familiar). then he bends over the railing and asks me to dance with him. his two friends with him seemed mortified. i tell him no, to dance with his pretty friend and he says that she's his sister and her boyfriend would bash his face in for it. they pull him away and suddenly he turns around, lifts his shirt and starts rubbing his chest and stomach and starts yelling "look at what you're missing." i must say he has a REALLY nice body.
so we all laugh about it and continue hanging out. about half an hour later, he walks by again, this time without his sister and her boyfriend. and starts saying to me "oh look at your face. look at your eyes. look at your dimples and smile." so i get up and walk over to him and introduce myself. he tells me his name is roscoe. i try to shake his hand and he pulls me too him to try to kiss me. i move my face and he slobbers all over my cheek. but yes, it all came back to me when he told me his name. this is, in fact, that same roscoe and it's almost exactly a year since we first met. and again this time i am single. meghan mentioned that it sounded like we were fated. as cute as he is, i don't want to be fated to a guy with questionable intelligence and a drinking problem...