bunny pirate!

yesterday while i was walking up bedford avenue, i noticed a commotion going on across the street. i took my earphones out to hear what was going on and then noticed that a man was hopping down the sidewalk and shouting "i'm bunny pirate!" to groups of people.
he was wearing the head piece from an easter bunny outfit, an eye patch, red sweatpants with novelty boxers over it (the boxers had a plastic ass attached to the back), and an american flag as a cape. on one hand he had a blue boxing glove; in the other he had a giant floppy heart on a stick.
i was more than amused and watched him accost groups of people trying to ignore him. if i was with someone, i may have risked letting him hop up to me just to see what he'd do. but, unfortunately, i was on my way somewhere and didn't want to risk it.
then today, i saw these posters up on the light poles!



some days i REALLY love my neighborhood!

essay

i'm applying for a job at...well, i don't want to jinx it, but anyway, it's a place i've always wanted to work for. and they want me to write a 500 word essay on my goals, experience and education and how it has helped me thus far.

i haven't had to write an essay since 2002. i haven't had to write an essay about myself since i applied to colleges...last century. a history paper is easy. you have themes, events you can talk about. but an essay about yourself is fucking hard.

and it's for a finance position, anyway. i don't expect i'd be writing a lot of essays in between doing the reconciliation reports and doing the theater payroll.

i mean, all i really want to say is that i just want a paying, theater related job that is stable and pays me enough so that i won't have to skip meals. but somehow i don't think they'd go for that.

i think it's time for a break from the job search.

coney island/bouncing souls

yesterday hatim and i went down to coney island to see the bouncing souls.

i’ve been a fan of their’s for a long time, but never had a chance to see them live. all six nights they played at the knitting factory last year were sold out the week they went on sale (or something ridiculous like that). but it was worth the wait. i couldn’t have asked for a better first time seeing a band.

our tickets included a "fun pass" that would allow us to ride the rides at astroland for free. the weather was kind of threatening, so alot of the rides were shutting down for fear of rain. they gave us $10 of our tickets back to us, so we went around spending it on what we could. we rode the wonderwheel and dante’s inferno and played a lot of skee ball. then we walked around on the beach and boardwalk. i wanted to see the freak show, but both that and the coney island museum were closed because it was monday. i did notice and think it was odd that in the same building that housed the coney museum and freak show had an army recruiting office in it.




i didn’t mind that a lot of the things were closed. it gave us a more interesting perspective. the weather set a very different kind of mood for the trip. it started getting colder and after a while we saw all that was open, so we ate some questionable food at ruby’s bar and grill, next door to cha cha’s, where we would be seeing the concert.



after a while we didn’t know what else to do besides go to cha cha's and start drinking. and drink i did. we tried the coney island ale that tasted like real carney! and nothing says class like plastic cups.







the first band to go on was static radio nj. i noticed that the drummer was a guy i accidentally hit in the crotch earlier that evening with a bar stool. heh. they were alright, not really my thing though. then another band was supposed to play. i wasn't really paying attention when the next band went on. but as they started to play, i turned to hatim and said "who are these guys? they sound like the bouncing souls." and he said "they are the bouncing souls you moron."


we pushed forward so i could actually see the stage and i ended up on the edge of the mosh pit pushing people back in. after that, it's all kind of a blur. i couldn't tell you everything that was played, but i know i heard the majority of everything i could have wanted to hear. i was in the pit, on the side...at one point hatim and i got separated and i ended up in the front row. i got to pound fists with the bassist, bryan, and there was some guy...my bouncing soul mate (haha)...who kept an eye on me and more than once kept me from getting trampled or knocked over. i tried to find him after the show to say thanks, but i didn't know where he went.


after the show, hatim and i were dripping with our sweat, other people's sweat, and beer. i was glowing. the crowd was disbursing, but i didn't want to leave. i had another beer and this guy that i had been talking to earlier...a bar regular went up to pete, the guitarist and told him i wanted to take a picture with him. it was awesome.



when i got home, i surveyed the damage. my white shoes are now black. i'm going to try throwing them in the washer to see if they get any better. hatim and i both stank of sweat and beer. this morning the shirt i bought at the merch table was still wet. i've got bruises forming on both forearms and i have difficulty putting weight on my right ankle. my body hurts, but i'm still giggling about last night. this blog entry just doesn't do it justice. yesterday was one of the best days i've had for a long, long time and i'm still basking in that happiness. and even though i know it won't be like my first time, i can't wait to see these guys play again.

the book i am...

interesting...

You're Mrs. Dalloway!

by Virginia Woolf

Your life seems utterly bland and normal to the casual observer, but
inside you are churning with a million tensions and worries. The company you surround
yourself with may be shallow, but their effects upon your reality are tremendously deep.
To stay above water, you must try to act like nothing's wrong, but you know that the
truth is catching up with you. You're not crazy, you're just a little unwell. But no
doctor can help you now.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

job offer

when jeromy and i were discussing my leaving rci and working at ha!, he gave me this speech about how one thing leads to another and who knows where working at ha! would lead me. i know he felt bad about telling me i was losing my job, but i also kind of do believe it. i really do believe everything happens for a reason.

and now as my time at ha! comes to a close, i was beginning to think that my working there was just a waste of time. that nothing has come out of it besides making my resume look a little more interesting...then glenn walked in to ha! today. he rented the sound equipment and did the sound and lighting design for don't quit. he and i got along quite well during the limited contact we had.

well, he offered me a job today in his office. he said it could be part time and we didn't really discuss the specifics because my boss walked up. but the draw back i'd have to travel somewhere on long island. he and i exchanged numbers and the more i think about it, the more i think i should call him. i initially was just going to pass it off, but it could lead to something. and it is money. it would just have to be enough money to make my traveling on the lirr worth it. regardless, i should call him and get more info...

so should i call him tomorrow or should i wait a day and call him wednesday?

who would have thought the theater girl who has never run a light board could end up working in a light/sound design/rental office???

dead head

it's been quite a while since i've remembered a dream of mine...until last night. and last night's was crazy.

the first part of my dream that i remember is that there were a whole bunch of us in some institutional type building, like a high school or something. it was a hostage situation and we were all in different rooms, with a gun man walking the halls and checking in on us. we had all been given tasks to do and everyone was doing them except this one guy, who i think had just given up and he was being very loud about not doing what he was told. the gunman shot at him, but didn't hit him. i don't know why he didn't kill him.

in his rage the gunman came over to my room and started yelling at me. i got down on the floor with my hands over the back of my head. i was laying face down. then i heard and felt him shoot me. things got black and kind of fuzzy, but i knew he shot me and that i was dead. then i began to question whether or not i was dead because i was still conscious. i got up and it took me a while to figure out to see. i started to panic because i thought that i must definitely be alive and just brain damaged. but after a while i figured out how i could see. then i touched my forehead and felt the exit wound. i was dead. and a ghost. but i could still feel pain. i was conscious of the pain in my head throughout the entire dream.

this is where the rest of the dream gets choppy...i went out to find my friends so they could help me figure out why i was still around. of the people i spoke with, only one i recognized from real life, and that was bob. some of them could see me and some of them couldn't. sometimes people who didn't even know me could see me and interact with me, some without realizing that i was a ghost. at one point during the dream i was at a parking garage in the east village trying to convince the guy to let me park my car there because i had a regular spot that had expired. we argued for a while and then i walked away and bob handled it. then the guy asked bob if i was alright because i had a bit of blood on my forehead. that was when it dawned on me that my head wound that i always felt might be visible to everyone. it was, but i guess just in different degrees. bob said he saw the whole extent of it. and when i put my hands up to touch it, it was there as if it were a fresh wound. but others only saw aspects of it. i remember wishing multiple times in the dream that i had died some other way and that my wound wasn't always visible and the pain it caused as constant.

we were trying to figure out why i was sticking around, why i hadn't passed on to where ever. one theory was due to the violence of my death and another was that i had unfinished business. but when thinking about that, i had no idea what that business could be. the search took us to some older man. i was hoping that he didn't see me and for a while he was acting like he didn't. he invited my friends in for some food in his little back yard garden. i was hanging off to the side until he looked right at me and offered me a seat near him. i was shocked.

and that's all i remember of my dream. crazy, right? anyone have any insight? i tried looking up some of the stuff online, but i'm not finding a lot.

mike the shredder

so friday i was out, having lunch with a friend and planning on running errands when i got a call asking me to come in to work. i did't want to go in, but i like the guy and i felt bad that he's violently ill. problem is...i have plans that night and have just purchased a shredder in yet another attempt to declutter and organize my life.

i had no choice but to lug it with me all night. by the end of the night, he was now called mike.
many thanks to ted and jarred for helping me out with mike through out the evening (and to courtney for being man enough to hold the door for me :wink:)

in mike's first night in my care he got to hang out at a comedy club, see the new harry potter movie, run around williamsburg, and do whiskey shots at barcade. not bad.

everyone...meet mike...

ukulele and existential detectives

i got my ukulele! yay! it's so much fun (probably less fun for my neighbors, though). but now i have a dilemma...i've been teaching myself songs and chords and it's going well, but now i have a deadline. a comic has made a sort of wager with me. if i can learn to play stairway to heaven on the uke, he'll give me a very special david bowie t-shirt. so i'm looking for someone to tutor me to expedite the process. know of anyone?

and don't fall asleep watching i heart huckabees...it can give you really fucked up dreams.

do over

i sometimes feel that my life, as i'm living it now, is just a sort of test run. that one day i'm going to wake up in my bed in bahrain, 15 again, like this was all a dream, but a little wiser. i would know what to really focus on, what choices to make, and what to let slide.

i realize that if my life were a movie or a novel and this were to happen, that the course of my life could be significantly altered. i do believe that there are certain places you are meant to be, things you are meant to do, and people who you are meant to have in your life, so although my life path may be altered, i would still be hitting those marks and meeting those people. but who knows, maybe very little would change...maybe after a time, my wisdom would fade and i'd end up doing the same damn things i've already done.

still, i'd like to try it and see what happens.

my inner muse

Your Inner Muse is Euterpe

You are most like this muse of music. While you may or may not be musical... You love music and set life to your own personal soundrack. And you are good at making anyone's heart sing!

What Muse Are You?

tonight

i got soaked with a supersoaker while dancing on a bar

and

the answer to the question "so tell me something about you that i can't tell from looking at you..." isn't "what's my favorite movie?"

ugh, jersey boys...

sucks

my time at rci will be up in two weeks. i was told today.

i saw it coming...shows closing, less work, etc. and i know i've grown too comfortable and should be working harder at finding a better paying job. but i like the office too much. maybe this is the kick in the ass i need. but regardless, it still sucks.

anyone know of a theater job that pays and is hiring?

my own personal hell on film

if you know me, you probably know about my phobia of zombies...

i know it is an irrational fear. there's no reason for it. it's not like i fear the water because i almost drowned. and it's not like all horror movies scare me...i love them. and i've had people try to convince me that vampires and zombies are similar, so why do i freak out about zombies when i have had such a fascination with vampires?

i don't know. i've tried to rationalize it every which way and i am still petrified of them.

i saw 28 days later in the movie theater and had nightmares for two weeks afterwards. i saw it because danny boyle is one of my favorite filmmakers and it was an excellent film. but it gave me even more things to be scared of...fast moving zombies caused by a virus made from animal testing...as if the original conception of the idea wasn't bad enough! but what really scared me in the film were some of the stories told. things that we heard about but never saw. things that i sometimes still think about when i'm stuck in a crowded subway or am fretting in the middle of the night.

so knowing all of this, why did i go to see 28 weeks later yesterday? maybe part of me was hoping that it'd be a lesser film and it would break this fear. not a chance. i can't remember the last time i covered my eyes in a horror film and this one had me sobbing, with my head in my lap and my arms over my head. i was shaking and hyperventilating with my feet up on the chair in front of me for protection. so many things just talked about in the first film were shown in this one. essentially, all the nightmares i had imagined were shown to me.

and the violence was just brutal. and, of course, there were the zombies.

the movie fucked me up. and i had to run from the theater to work, so i was completely out of sorts yesterday. i also had problems sleeping. i had to go to bed with the light on and cartoons playing. i was still awake every 2 or 3 hours, though. i don't remember any of my dreams, but i've probably got a pretty good idea what they were about. i woke myself up once talking very loudly in my sleep.

all of this has just added to my general melancholia of late.

why do i do this to myself? it would be so easy to just skip the film and not have this effect. but there i was, days ago, looking at the stills from the film and getting goosebumps from that horrible face. what the hell is wrong with me? why can't i just leave it alone? why can't i be afraid of something normal like spiders or heights or something?

fyi...

i'm dying my hair red again.

see that's what happens when you actually give karron a day off...

and today is proof that

"summer in the city means cleavage, cleavage, cleavage..."

rent character

Which RENT Character Are YOU?

Maureen - the performer. You attract men and women like no one else, and you take full advance of your outgoing personality to woo them. You don't really care about the outside world, but you pretend to to get your face on the screen.
Take this quiz!








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tumult

this past week has been insane. i've had one day off in a month. many of my days i work 12-14 hours. this week was particularly hectic because it was the official opening of don't quit your night job. also, rci was managing the new dramatists luncheon honoring edward albee which was also on the same day. so of course, working my butt off. not that i mind, but i just want a weekend, you know? i'm getting very tired and not as happy as i once was. some sleep and relaxation would help that immensly.

then on friday i found out that sunday would be my last day on the show. elizabeth, the company manager, fought to keep me and is deeply unhappy about it. but the higher-ups are doing budget cuts, and thus the ticketing part of my job will be handled by the venue owner and the other aspects of my position will be handled by elizabeth. it wasn't much notice and rather than make a game plan on what i'm going to do to fix it, i drank heavily all weekend. on friday after the show, i went out with louie, the sound guy for don't quit and we closed out house of brews. the sun was coming up as i was going home, although i don't remember actually getting home. heh. i also was reminded that sharpee doesn't wash off easily.

then after the shows yesterday, elizabeth and i went to sweet carolines, an event at ha! that happens after our show. again, i got home about 4:30 and i have no idea how much i drank. being buddies with the bartender can be a dangerous thing. i remember doing at least 6 shots from everything from vodka and tequila to lemon drops and red headed sluts and blow jobs (see picture below). And every time i turned around i had a new g&t, so who knows how many of those i drank. needless to say, i have many stories from last night. some of which inlude a lesbian licking my arm, a navy guy doing push ups so i'd give him a kiss, having the bar manager pour jameson down my throat on multiple occasions, and pole dancing on the bar.

and so today was my last day as assistant company manager on don't quit. i was at ha! trying to make sure that everyone was trained properly, when i mentioned that i was officially out of a job. anthony, the venue owner hadn't realized this. he thought i'd still be working on the show, just not doing ticketing. nope. so he offered me a job. so i'll still be working on don't quit, but in a slightly different capacity. i won't have the asst. manager duties, but i'll still be doing the ticketing. and also two nights a week i'll be hostessing at the club. so now my weekends will be thursdays and fridays. the pay isn't as good, but at least it's something until i can figure out what the hell i'm doing...again. and i'm still involved in theater. elizabeth is still going to train me to cover for her if she's out, so i can pick up some extra cash doing that as well. but at least i have a buffer for now...that i don't think i would have had if i hadn't partied hard last night.
so again, things are up in the air. but i think i'll have to get used to that working in theater and all...

and now i'll leave you with some pictures from the evening...

May 19, 2007 - Sweet Caroline's Rock and Roll Dueling Piano Show @ Ha! Comedy Club - JoonBug.com

my new boss anthony, me, elizabeth, and the random navy guy (pre pushups)


right before i got up on the bar...

May 19, 2007 - Sweet Caroline's Rock and Roll Dueling Piano Show @ Ha! Comedy Club - JoonBug.com


and of course the ever famous blowjob shot...(elizabeth's smile says it all)


May 19, 2007 - Sweet Caroline's Rock and Roll Dueling Piano Show @ Ha! Comedy Club - JoonBug.com

my turtle is this bad ass...

moose ball

angel

i spoke with david boreanaz on the phone today!!!! heheheheheheehhehehehehehe! :D

you know you drink too much coffee if...

on your way to work you walk in to your local coffee shop and the coffee guy grabs you, puts you in a head lock, and gives you a noogie. then he tries to box you.

not quite what you'd expect first thing in the morning. yet another reason why i love williamsburg.

oslo beats the pants off starbucks any day.