voiceless

everyone keeps telling me not to whisper; that it's bad for my voice. but it's not like i have much of a choice.

i know someone can only have a certain amount of luck at any given time, but this wrench in the works came at precisely the wrong time.

i lost my voice. it's a fairly common thing to happen to people, but i feel that the timing of this makes my life even more bizarre than it already is.

yesterday i had interviews with three potential replacements at petaholics. i can only imagine what they thought as i whispered questions at them.

yesterday i also had the meet and greet for don't quit. when we went around the room introducing ourselves, i had to whisper in the ear of the stage manager, who acted as my translator. wonderful first impression, i'm sure...

my lack of voice also weirded out a lot of people. elizabeth, the company manager for don't quit, kept thinking i was unhappy or bored because i was nonresponsive, but i had to keep telling her i wasn't, just that i couldn't respond. i also had a lot of people whispering back at me, as if what i was saying to them was a secret.

i was hoping that by some miracle my voice would be back by the time i had to do my show, but that truly was just wishful thinking. leslie, the stage manager, had to go on for me, instead. she did a great job and i'm very proud of her. but the whole ordeal also greatly frustrated me. i already feel like i'm letting the show down by leaving a week early to do don't quit. and then i can't even perform in my penultimate show because i have no voice. i also feel a little cheated, seeing as i don't know when i'll get to act again because of my work schedule for don't quit.

today my voice is better, but still very hoarse. i'm trying to concerve it by writing everything down so i'll be able to go on tonight and have a last show. i started writing stuff down last night when we went to a bar after the show. there was no way i could compete with the music and noise in the bar. it was actually kind of fun and for some reason i was able to come up with a number of good pickup lines. maybe i should be mute more often. ;) no, not really.

i ran out today to enjoy the amazing weather and to run some errands. on my way back i stopped at my local favorite coffee spot to grab my essential summer drink, the dirty chai. i wrote out a nice note to give to the cute coffee guy. he took a look at it and said, "i don't read." nice. then handed it to the guy who makes the drinks. he held up four fingers to indicate how much i should pay. i may be mute, but i'm not deaf. he then asked me if i was faking (a common thought among a couple of my friends), so i attempted to speak for the first time since i woke up. it didn't sound much better. i told him that i was trying to conserve my voice for the show tonight since the stage manager had to go one for me last night. he told me my voice made me sound like a tough guy and that i should do my character like a civil war general. then he offered me a cigarette. dick...kinda funny, but still a dick.

so here's hoping it works out tonight...if not, maybe i can put my new voiceless pickup lines to good use.