i'm just not meant to have clothes...

i just got back from bahrain.
for a number of reasons this was a frustrating trip, but the main reason is that fucking british airways likes to lose my luggage. (maybe this is some sort of cosmic sign for me to shrug off some of the emotional baggage that i've collected.)
my flights to london and to bahrain were delayed because of the weather. this was a day or two before heathrow was shut down because it of the fog. i can't even imagine what it was like when they closed because while i was there it was pretty intense. we were in a holding pattern above london and you would have had no idea that there was a huge city underneath. the pilot pointed out the tips of three buildings poking out of the fog...they were skyscrapers from canairy warf (?), the financial district. that was all that was visible. and then when we landed the fog was so thick i couldn't even see the wing (which i was sitting above) until we had actually touched down.
so needless to say, i had to rush a little more than planned in heathrow to catch my connection to bahrain and my bag didn't make it. that would have been fine...normally i would have gotten my bag delivered to my house the next day. it's happened before and i usually carry a change of clothes in my carry on, so no big deal. well, then heathrow shut down. and when i spoke to the airport and airline, no one could even tell me if the bag was even in london. the last time it was scanned was at jfk. lovely.
after multiple visits to ba offices and the airport and calls a couple times a day to ba all over the place including dubai, i finally got my bag christmas morning...which we had to go pick up from the airport. they wouldn't deliver it. which was just enough time for me to put my mom's gift in a pretty box and put it under the tree and throw all my clothes in the washing machine and repack. i had arrived in bahrain on the 20th and got the bag on the 25th. i left bahrain the morning of the 27th. and while, normally i'd love an excuse to go shopping, i had a lot of meds in that bag that i didn't carry on with me because of the new liquids/cream laws that say that you can't carry more than a certain amount unless you can prove that you'll need to use the prescription while you're on the flight. well i didn't, but i did need it after i got off. so i had to go try to find replacements while i was there.
so i learned my lesson and carried on all my meds when returning to the us. and i came back with two bags instead of one because of the new clothes i *had* to buy and gifts from my mom. :)
and what does ba do? they lose my bag again. not the signifcantly smaller one with stuff i don't really care about in it, but the big one with all my important stuff. at the airport they told me it'd definately be in on the last flight. i call this morning and it's not. again, they can't even tell me where it is. how does the little bag make it and not the big one? that one would be more understandably misplaced.
all i have to say is that they better fucking deliver this bag when it comes in. i'm not going all the way to newark to pick it up. the bus ride to times square alone took two hours last night. so much for the newark EXPRESS.

please please please i want something to work out for me. so far lately everything has been far, far more complicated than it should be.

bahrain does funny things to my brain

i've had some very vivid dreams since i've come to bahrain...last night was possibly the goriest dream i've had in years.

i return to a rabbit farm in a wooded area with a group of people i don't know in my every day life, but knew in my dreams. most of the rabbits were slaughtered. some torn apart, others burned...none of them nice deaths. the ones that remained had some sort of disease and a cure made from the bone marrow of the dead ones. it was my job to debone the carcasses and crack open the bones to retrieve the marrow. and my brain went into quite a lot of detail regarding the process. and then there was a part where i had to dig up bodies in a graveyard, but that's where my memory of the dream gets fuzzy. nice, eh?

some pictures from london

ok. i'm posting a few pictures from london. i don't want to seem self indulgent, but all the pictures will have me in it. if you're looking at this, you're probably my friend and don't give a shit about pictures of people you don't even know.
these were all taken on my last night in london. we started drinking early (and i even partook of a few on the tube) on our way to a gay arabic night at a lesbian bar somewhere in south london.


that night i met some pretty awesome people! hopefully we'll keep in touch. unfortunately leena isn't in any of these pics because she was the one taking them.

for some reason we all felt the urge to sit on aj. (i'm the one on top)

i danced a lot and had quite a few partners. dancing with depak



i really like this picture of aj and i. it looks like a planet is about to pass between us and the camera.


one of my most interesting dancing partners:

the group: aj, me, claire, depak. not pictured are leena, rowaida, zara, depak's sister, and some blonde girl who was WAY too drunk.

he's a bastard

he obviously doesn't give a fuck about my health or my feelings. we talked about things...and he's lied to me more than once. most guys i know would LOVE to be in this position. why the fuck do i put myself though this shit?

hair cut

i got my hair cut today! yay! i cut off over a foot and it's still below my shoulder. i'm just glad that it's gone. now...what color to dye it?

life update

i frequently post stuff about random crap and my artistic life...what shows i'm doing, our reviews, etc., but because of a recent shift, i believe it's time to write about what's going on in my life in general...because there is a lot. maybe this blog post will allow me to actually sort it all out and make sense of it in my own head.
(i'll backtrack a little for those of you who i've recently gotten back in touch with). when i graduated from nyu, the job market in nyc sucked a big one. it was right after 9/11 and everyone was still in shock. companies were moving out of the city, people were being laid off right and left, and people were being forced to fall back on job skills such as bar tending, which they may have given up years before. a friend of mine looking for a bartending job told me that on one of the interviews she went on, the interviewer remarked that he had gotten thousands of resumes for the one job.
so my jump into the "real world" was less than ideal. i was graduating from a very expensive university. the renovation on my apartment (which was supposed to be done in april) would not be done until august. and i had no job, as my position with the university ended once i graduated and packed off the little freshmen for the summer. i was sending out resumes wildly. i had no idea what i wanted to do. i was getting fairly steady acting work, but i still needed a day job to pay the bills. i tried getting a more permanent job with nyu, but that didn't pan out and i finally got a call from a real estate company for a reception position that i didn't even remember applying for. i went in for an interview mainly because i hadn't gotten any other calls. the interviews went well and i think i was offered the position the next day.
granted, this was my DAY job, and not what i was wanting to do with my life, so i vowed that i'd keep looking until i found something better. and i did continue going on interviews, but gradually the company became my home. shortly after getting the job, their parent company downsized and they eliminated my position. serendipitously, a receptionist position opened up in their soho office at the same time and after a moment of panic, i was transferred to the other office. i stayed there for two years. i loved the office but hated the job. i met some of my closest friends through that office. i got to see/meet a few celebs. i was even able to score a few acting/design roles. and while the job allowed me to concentrate on my acting and design, i, well, i needed more money. and i knew i had more potential.
when an office manager position in the carnegie hill office opened up, about two years later, i applied. i naively thought that all the different offices were run the same way and would have similar types of characters. i was wrong. my new position was not like the soho office manager position that i had occasionally stepped in to. and the brokers in the office were not the same type (or age group) of people. but that is the difference between the upper east side and soho.
so the job had more stress, more aggravation, and more conflict. i did meet some more dear friends, but i was missing soho. i stuck through it for two years, but as time went on, i became more and more frustrated. i had jumped a few steps up the ladder to this position and there was no where for me to progress to unless i became a broker (which i had little desire and no nest egg for). i would dread going to the office in the morning. i felt stagnant.
during these two years, i made a great creative leap and founded a theater company with two friends and began producing as well as acting and designing shows. but slowly the issues from the day job began to seep into my life outside. the job exhausted me, and my day didn't end when i left there at 5:30. i was most likely leaving to go to a theater meeting or a rehearsal. i knew i was spinning my wheels and had to do something about it.
a little over a month ago, i left the real estate company. it was a tough decision. it had become my home. it was all i knew after college. despite the frustrations, at least it was something that was a constant in my life. i took a job at a small finance company. the founder/president was 29 years old and very ambitious. (that was an exciting change from working in an office where the average age was over 50 and most people had children older than me). there was a lot of opportunity for growth as the office grew, the hours (in theory) were shorter, the money was better, and there was a lot to learn (i had no idea about investment banking or finance).
but almost immediately, the chemistry between my boss and i changed. the previous assistant left over a month before i started and there were a series of temps between her and i. they also just moved, so i was learning a new job, a new industry, a new boss, and trying to make sense out of the piles of papers just shoved into drawers.
i thought i was getting better. i actually knew what the sec was and what nda meant. but then i noticed that my boss started getting emails from the placement agency that placed me with him. (no i was not snooping, he had me send emails from his account all the time.) i began to worry, but he was away in europe and this was something to be done face to face. but the emails became more frequent and no longer contained resumes, but talked about interviews and second meetings.
so last friday i approached him. i asked him i needed to start looking for another job. i think i took him off guard. he started out the conversation saying he was unsure, but that he felt like with me it was like trying to get a square peg into a round hole. i stood up for myself and i think that pretty much made up his mind. so he paid me what he owed me and i left.
i tried not to think of it too much over the weekend, since i'm in the middle of the run of the crackwalker and i think i did a pretty good job.
but now, for the first time, i feel like i have no direction. you always have a goal to work for: graduation, the bonus, opening night, the vacation. i don't have the money to go back to school. the show i put blood, sweat, tears, and bruises into is up. and i have no day job.
i am trying to use this time to not only live cheaply, but catch up on all the life stuff i pushed aside because i simply had no time. i'm running errands, cooking, doing laundry. i know it'll eventually get old because i was never fond of housework...actually i despise it. but my latest goal is to reduce the clutter of my life while trying to figure out what i need to do about money.
ideally, i'd get a job in theater administration. but those are so hard to come by and when you do, the pay is crap. i do know that i don't want to repeat what happened with my most recent position or even with my office manager position. i know i don't like finance, and i don't really want to go into real estate again. in a nutshell: i don't know what i want right now. i'm trying to use this time to recharge, get my life in order. oddly enough, i'm not panicking (yet). i am looking for jobs, but i am not striking out blindly like i have in the past. whatever i decide to do, i want it to make me happy. ok, maybe not happy because i don't want to get too comfortable in it and not keep doing theater. but i do want to be content.

review for my latest show

ok, ok, so my part of the review wasn't stellar...it actually hurt my pride a bit because i am used to good reviews, but the review itself was very good. check it out


Northern Exposure
by Lauren Snyder
The Crackwalker reviewed October 28, 2006

To most Americans, Canada is that strange nation to the north whose major exports are beer, hockey players, and Degrassi High. Our idea of the country is that of a colder, more rural United States where everything and everyone's a bit cleaner and a bit nicer. But Judith Thompson's play The Crackwalker, produced by New World Theater, shows a different side of Canada by focusing on the desperate denizens of Kingston, Ontario, circa 1979. The result is a harrowing, powerful tale of economic depression and mental illness. Therese is a mentally challenged manipulator and compulsive liar who makes her doughnut money by servicing gay men and sleeps on her friend Sandy's couch. Sandy, a rage-filled, emotionally damaged woman, is married to Joe, an abusive, womanizing gambler. Joe's friend Alan (who is seeing Therese) is a twitchy former addict with a tenuous grip on reality.

Sandy and Joe fight and make up as they try to establish a better life for themselves. Alan and Therese get married and have a baby, against the wishes of her social worker and with the misgivings of Therese, who previously had a baby taken away from her. Though Therese is no longer working as a prostitute, she is not bright enough to take care of a child or to realize that Alan is mentally ill and should not be responsible for her or their son. Even the relatively stable influence of their friends cannot stop the tragedy that is to come. The reality of the events portrayed onstage is helped along by the theater space itself. The Access Theater is on the fourth floor of a building that evidently houses another performance space above it; at several moments during the performance, there were loud banging noises and voices raised in anger coming from upstairs. One could imagine them stemming from arguments among other tenants in Joe and Sandy's apartment building.

Tattered, mismatched furniture is easy to do on a small budget, but period costumes are not; design consultant Frankie Keane picked out some cute vintage duds for the ladies. Thompson's gritty script mimicked regular conversations in its language, rhythms, and the ebb and flow of conflict. Two characters would be at odds with each other but then talk themselves into agreement through their mutual ire against a third character. These transitions occurred so naturally that it was hard to remember who was mad at whom, as sometimes happens in life. The strong writing is complemented by the strong acting on display by the cast of non-union actors. Melanie Kuchinski Rodriguez brings a long-simmering bitterness and a great Canadian accent to the mostly reactive role of Sandy. Her physical confrontations with David Wesley Cooper, who believably plays the mercurial Joe, are fraught with danger and sex. Karron Karr doesn't always succeed with the very stylized slang that Therese speaks, but she underplays her character's mental handicap even as she nails her mix of naïveté and sexual sophistication. Kelly Miller rises to the challenge of Alan, who changes from eccentric but lovable to psychotic and frightening within the course of the show. On Broadway and Off-Broadway, Irish playwrights are now all the rage. On Off-Off-Broadway, most produced scripts are written by new local playwrights and Shakespeare. While it's important to foster the talents of young New York writers, importing plays like The Crackwalker can only add depth to the city's cultural offerings.

see photos and the actual review at www.offoffonline.com

My New Show

I'm playing a mentally challenged Canadian prostute.
No, I'm not kidding...
No, it isn't a comedy...
Just see the show. It's good and it will make you feel icky afterwards...but in a good way... :)


NWT is staging one of the most acclaimed Canadian plays of the past 25 years. The Crackwalker, directed by Robert Zick Jr, is a plunge into Kingston, Ontario’s underworld of drugs, sex, mental illness and murder, where four local down-and-outs struggle to live, to love and to make a better world for themselves with tragic results.

Judith Thompson’s first play (premiered at NYC’s Hudson Guild in the early 1980’s) is a visceral exploration of the ugly realities of society’s castaways, where the “Crackwalker” waits to crush anyone unable to walk the fine line between sanity and destruction.

Access Theatre
380 Broadway, 4th floor(btw White St. & Walker St., TriBeCa)
New York, NY 10013
October 26 - November 12
Wed. - Sat. @ 8:00pm, Sun. @ 7:00pm
Gala*, Friday, October 27 @ 8:00pm
*Wine & cheese reception with the actors to follow the show!
Tickets: $18 at the door, $15 in advance
Gala event with reception $25
For advance tickets, call TheaterMania at 212-352-3101 or reserve online at www.newworldtheatre.org
Directed and Designed by Robert Zick Jr
Design Consultation by Gerard J. Savoy
Costume Consultation by Frankie Keane
Stage Managed by Leia Garcia-Benedini
Illustration created by Elizabeth Anderson
Featuring: David Wesley Cooper, Karron Karr, Melanie Kuchinski Rodriguez and Kelly Miller
Visit us at www.newworldtheatre.org.
New World Theatre is a sponsored project of Fractured Atlas

sorry for being out of touch

i know there's a lot of you who may feel a little neglected. believe me it's nothing personal.
i recently started a new day job...and it's really kicking my butt. it's with a finance company. my boss is cool, but it's been a tougher transition than i thought. it's like learning a new language. i'm just starting to catch on to what things are about and stuff. i have a constant feeling that i'm disappointing him and i hate that.
and then i've had rehearsals every night for the crackwalker, one of the most challenging shows i've ever been a part of. it's great and the end result will be very moving, but it's also a lot of work and very tiring.
and we've had had a series of house guests staying with us for the past few months. it's been fun and all, but it's nice to have the apartment back. just in time to start cleaning for the halloween party...

it's not fair!

life is SO not fair!!!!! i got a text message from patrick today saying that he was in the same restaurant as david bowie. why do the people who could care less always meet the people i idolize most? ok, so patrick didn't meet him, but had he taken my suggestion and offered him head, then he would have certainly have met him. he didn't even ask him for his autograph. :(

there and back again

i'm back from atlanta. it's nice to be reminded what life is like in the rest of the us every once in a while. eh, it's not for me. i mean, it's nice to be able to drive places and to have cable and stuff, but really a place like atlanta would drive me crazy after a while. i was pretty much out of my element there...with people and places. it was good to see andy, though. i didn't have as much one on one time with him as i would have liked. he had friends tagging along 90% of the time.
and now that i'm back, i was hoping to be super productive and get lots done. that really hasn't happened. i've reverted to staying up till 3 or 4am and then being useless most of the day. and now when i'm finally fully awake, hatim's asleep so i can't be prowling around the apartment and wake him up. today when i wanted to get lots done, i took a 4 hour nap. my biggest accomplishment this weekend has been taking a bag of clothes to the salvation army. and then packing another two bags of clothes to hopefully sell at beacon's closet tomorrow. i've been feeling an itch for a wardrobe make over. but i can't really justify it until i clear out some room.

dinner?

what does it mean when a guy asks a girl out to dinner?
what does it mean when your ex-boyfriend asks you out to dinner?
and what does it mean when he mentions it to you three or four times in one day and then the next day asks to see if you could squeeze him in between work and a meeting that same night?

now i'm not reading too much into this, am i? but it sounds like someone may have changed their mind about not wanting a girlfriend. i'm just not going to deal with it until after atlanta.

it's over

and, oh yeah, the shows are over. suddenly. at one point it felt like they'd never begin or end and now they're over. time to move on. it's a very weird feeling, but i don't have the sadness i did after book of days.

atlanta here i come

i bought a ticket to atlanta today to visit a certain georgia boy who i've known for a million and a half years. i'm really looking forward to seeing him, but i'm still a little peeved that he screwed up our plans to go elsewhere...first it was montreal, then boston, then dc and new orleans was even a destination for about 5 minutes. i mean (and no offence to anyone) but what is there to do in atlanta, anyway, besides drinking a pepsi in front of the coke museum? (and i'm going to hold him to his promise to come up to nyc for my halloween party because he screwed up our vacation).
seriously, though, i'm glad to be going. i love catching up with him and i desperately need a little time off and away from nyc (the last time i left was for a theater retreat on long island in february). maybe i'll even be able to relax and do nothing for an hour. i think the last time that happened was when i visited him in north carolina a few years ago.
i leave friday. yes, i know it's very last minute. i hope 1. that the week goes very quickly, because i know the weekend will definately go too quickly and 2. that i somehow find the time to get everything done this week that needs to be done.

sex, drugs, rock'n roll and conjoined twins?

i saw the poster and i was interested.

i watched the trailer and got really excited!

first off, the poster reminds me of trainspotting, which is one of my favorite movies. it's about punk music, another love. and it's got hot boys in it, which is always good. so what if they're conjoined twins? i guess it's trainspotting meets velvet goldmine if ewan mcgregor was a conjoined twin. this is the first movie in a long time that i've really been excited about...my roommate commented how twisted it looked...so does it surprise anyone that i'd get excited about it? i'm so there opening night (july 28th)! i just hope it doesn't suck.
and yes (after some research) they are twins, but they are not really conjoined. :)

buzz buzz

so not only has united stages wrote an article about priscilla (the show i'm acting in), william niederkorn (the shakespeare scholar and nytimes writer) came to opening night of hamlet and wrote about it on his blog. it would have been nice to have been written up in the times, but we'll take what we can get. ;)
to check out the text of both articles go to www.newworldtheatre.org/blog

headshots and costumes and theater...OH MY!

the shows are going. we're getting some nice buzz and united stages even wrote a piece about rewriting shakespeare/priscilla/jeff (the playwrite). check it out: www.unitedstages.com
i think the shows are going well (even if last nights' performance was possibly the oddest i've ever been involved in). had a bit of a break down about the costumes for hamlet (long story), but everything seems to be running smoothly now.
my mom is in town and this will be the first thing she's seen me in since 2000. i kinda wish she would have come for book of days last year, but nothing i can do about that now. tomorrow we're seeing hamlet and saturday my roommate is taking her to see me in priscilla. i'm a little nervous about it.
despite the press attention we've gotten, we're not getting much of an audience. so if you're in the nyc area, COME SEE MY SHOWS! they're good...i promise. (see previous blog for show info)
also after a lot of deliberation, i've narrowed my headshot choices down to 4. i just need to knock one more off and i'll be set. it's SO hard. i've never had so many pictures of me that looked good. grrrr....
which one would you vote off the island? (please remember that these are yet to be touched up before reproduction). there is another shot that i'm definately keeping. i'm only including the three that are questionable.

new headshots

i got new headshots taken a few days ago and i need to pick two or three to touch up and then have reproduced. maybe i'll start getting called into auditons more often with these.

any favorites?

www.jensenstudiosnyc.com/photography/karroncolor/

Come See My Show(s)!

NEW WORLD THEATRE OPENS 2006-07 SEASON WITH HAMLET: EVOLUTION

"Hamlet Evolution" image by Maria Aldana

Hamlet 1603: The First Quarto features Anthony Bagnetto, Robert Cross, Jason Liebman*, Kevin Lind*, Alyssa Mann, Thomas Poarch and Gabriele Schafer*

Priscilla features David Diloreto, Cassie Haynes, Linda Jones*, Karron Karr, Jessica Krueger and Paul Weissman

* Appears courtesy of the Actor's Equity Association

Hamlet 1603 Director: Cynthia Dillon
Priscilla Director: Robert Zick Jr.
Hamlet 1603 Assistant Director/Stage Manager: Meghan Dickerson
Hamlet 1603 Fight Choreographer: Al Foote III
Set Designer: Robert Zick Jr.
Costume Designer: Karron Karr
Lighting Designer: Keri Thibodeau
Publicity Coordinator: David Cooper
Production Manager: Melanie Rodriguez

Highlighting the evolution of Shakespeare’s renowned play from its origins to its relevant implications today, New World Theatre presents HAMLET: EVOLUTION featuring Hamlet 1603: The First Quarto by William Shakespeare and the newly commissioned adaptation Priscilla by Jeff Love.

Hamlet 1603: The First Quarto – This is a rare opportunity to see the first publication of Shakespeare’s quintessential revenge play. Presented uncut, this Hamlet is shorter and leaner and in many ways a “different play.” Hamlet returns from University to discover that his father is dead and his uncle has married his mother. Visited by the ghost of his father, Hamlet schemes to wrest the truth from his murderous uncle and avenge his father’s death.
Priscilla – NWT’s newly commissioned modern adaptation, Priscilla takes Shakespeare’s most famous work and puts its premise of indecision leading to destruction into a more contemporary context –and with a woman as the protagonist. Will Priscilla choose a life of love and security or will she lose herself amid the unraveling revelations surrounding her mother’s suspicious death?
Stella Adler Studio 2-B31 W. 27th Street, 2nd Floor New York City
July 7 - 29, 2006 Tuesdays – Saturdays at 8pm Saturday & Sunday Matinees at 3pmB
oth shows run in repertory throughout the month of July. Check out the full schedule on our website or the calendar below.
Tickets: Hamlet 1603: $15 in advance, $18 at door Priscilla: $12 in advance, $15 at door
Buy tickets to both shows for only $25 (call 212-352-3101)
Tickets are limited - reserve now!Call: 212-352-3101 or visit http://www.newworldtheatre.org/.

UPCOMING PLAYS - NWT will explore the dark side of the human experience with two politically provocative plays beginning in Fall 2006 with the staging of Canadian playwright Judith Thompson’s volatile first play, The Crackwalker, a visceral exploration of the ugly realities of inner city survival. Slaughter City, a searing drama about life in the meat-packing industry by acclaimed playwright and poet Naomi Wallace will anchor New World Theatre’s season in the winter of 2007.

venting (and some whining)

i'm so tired...and busy...and frustrated. here are some reason why i think i'm going to have a nervous breakdown soon:
1. i'm a little worried that i may have bitten off more than i can chew, theater-wise. in an effort to improve my quality of life (aka my day job), i enrolled in a certificate program in management for the arts at nyu. i'm only taking one class this summer that meets once a week on monday nights, but that's enough, considering the homework.
2. then i'm acting in the play priscilla. we open in less than a month and at rehearsal yesterday we got a new act 2. i don't know when i'm going to start memorizing my lines. and i don't even have a grasp of my character. i'm still figuring out her voice, walk and all the physical stuff. (i do have to admit i'm having a lot of fun in rehearsal, though. the cast is awesome and it's been a long time since i've been in such a funny, slapstick type of role).
3. also, i'm desigining the costumes for both shows (priscilla and hamlet...visit www.newworldtheatre.org/blog for updates and pictures of the shows). i haven't even really begun with priscilla yet because i don't have a finalized copy of the script. but i've been working on hamlet. i need to figure out the women...once i figure out the women, i think the men should be easy enough. but how do you put a woman in a dress who has to change into a man in about 10 seconds on stage and still make her beautiful and feminine? and why are all the colors i want for costumes out of season? why can't i have the money and an assistant to make exactly what's in my head?
4. and i really should start thinking of designs for hurt so good...the show i'm designing for point of you productions...which goes up in august. i also feel like i'm slighting poy because i haven't been able to make production meetings in forever because i've been going to priscilla and hamlet rehearsals.
5. i haven't had time to do laundry in forever. i'm down to three pairs of underwear because i was so hung over on sunday that i couldn't do anything before i had to go to the hamlet rehearsal.
6. i have no money because i booked an appointment for new headshots...i had to pay half of the fee as a down payment, so i guess i have no money for new underwear if i run out of the clean stuff. also i'm still paying off my nyu class.
7. my computer at work hasn't worked for the past 3 days. i've got all sorts of people on my back about things and i can't access half the stuff because it's all on my computer. i've been a the visiting broker's desk, but i can only do so much from here (yes, i'm writing a blog entry instead of doing work. i wonder if this will get me fired so i can collect unemployment and actually get out of this job). so my day job is one big, frustrating nightmare right now.
7.5. my alarm rings at 7:20am. i'm not cut out for this early morning shit. i get up that early and i'm still always late for work because of the trains. and then after i get off work at 5:30 i go to rehearsals which run until 10. then i go home and by the time i've eaten dinner (if i eat dinner these days) it's after 11. then it's on the internet to return theater emails and do costume research or homework. i'm trying to be in bed by 1:30, but that doesn't aways happen. then it's back to the beginning again. why can't my day job be my theater job?
8. i miss my ex boyfriend and i stupidly text messaged him when i was drunk saturday night. but even if we were together, it's not like i'd have any time for him. i still miss him, eventhough i'm hearing stories about him which remind me why it's good that we're no longer together.
9. my mom is coming to stay with me next weekend and my room is a sty. i've got to find some time between now and then to at least get rid of the piles of clothes on the floor.

i really really need a massage...and some sex...and a nap...for, like, a year.