everyone changes.

everyone changes.

i truely believe that everyone in your life is there for a reason. there are some people that you can go for 6 months without speaking or seeing them and pick up right off where you left off like a not even a day has passed. there are others who can be so close, but if you go for a time without seeing them, it can be jarring once you spend time together again. it's like you're spending time with a stranger with a familiar face. i hate that awkwardness.

we all have different stages that we go through with life. some people are meant to span all or some of those stages and others are meant to be there for a short time. (and sometimes those very short encounters can be some of the most impressionable experiences.) it's sad, though, when you have a realization that you have less and less in common with some people that you consider your family. what keeps you together when they don't even make the attempt any more?

there are members of the group that are only there because of me. i brought them in. and now i feel they are more valued than i am. i feel like if i left or moved or something, that i wouldn't really be missed. few would make the attempt to keep in contact. i think the roast made it very clear how i am viewed by them.

i'm sad. i've considered them more my own family than my own blood for a long time...between 1/3 and 1/4 of my life. i don't want that to end, and i don't necessarily have another friend base to fall in to. i have smatterings here and there, but nothing as solid or with as much history or as much in common as i (used to) have with them. i don't want them to be, but i feel things have been moving in this direction for quite a while. one more radical change in my life.