dead head

it's been quite a while since i've remembered a dream of mine...until last night. and last night's was crazy.

the first part of my dream that i remember is that there were a whole bunch of us in some institutional type building, like a high school or something. it was a hostage situation and we were all in different rooms, with a gun man walking the halls and checking in on us. we had all been given tasks to do and everyone was doing them except this one guy, who i think had just given up and he was being very loud about not doing what he was told. the gunman shot at him, but didn't hit him. i don't know why he didn't kill him.

in his rage the gunman came over to my room and started yelling at me. i got down on the floor with my hands over the back of my head. i was laying face down. then i heard and felt him shoot me. things got black and kind of fuzzy, but i knew he shot me and that i was dead. then i began to question whether or not i was dead because i was still conscious. i got up and it took me a while to figure out to see. i started to panic because i thought that i must definitely be alive and just brain damaged. but after a while i figured out how i could see. then i touched my forehead and felt the exit wound. i was dead. and a ghost. but i could still feel pain. i was conscious of the pain in my head throughout the entire dream.

this is where the rest of the dream gets choppy...i went out to find my friends so they could help me figure out why i was still around. of the people i spoke with, only one i recognized from real life, and that was bob. some of them could see me and some of them couldn't. sometimes people who didn't even know me could see me and interact with me, some without realizing that i was a ghost. at one point during the dream i was at a parking garage in the east village trying to convince the guy to let me park my car there because i had a regular spot that had expired. we argued for a while and then i walked away and bob handled it. then the guy asked bob if i was alright because i had a bit of blood on my forehead. that was when it dawned on me that my head wound that i always felt might be visible to everyone. it was, but i guess just in different degrees. bob said he saw the whole extent of it. and when i put my hands up to touch it, it was there as if it were a fresh wound. but others only saw aspects of it. i remember wishing multiple times in the dream that i had died some other way and that my wound wasn't always visible and the pain it caused as constant.

we were trying to figure out why i was sticking around, why i hadn't passed on to where ever. one theory was due to the violence of my death and another was that i had unfinished business. but when thinking about that, i had no idea what that business could be. the search took us to some older man. i was hoping that he didn't see me and for a while he was acting like he didn't. he invited my friends in for some food in his little back yard garden. i was hanging off to the side until he looked right at me and offered me a seat near him. i was shocked.

and that's all i remember of my dream. crazy, right? anyone have any insight? i tried looking up some of the stuff online, but i'm not finding a lot.

dreamy

last night i had a dream about being pregnant. i don't remember much about what went on in the dream, except that i frequently rubbed my belly and if i touched a certain area, i could feel the baby's heart beat. i was also very happy and in a good place about being pregnant (which, in reality would never be the case). i used to have dreams about having a baby or being pregnant a lot when i was in college. they were always before something big started, like, i would get them during RA training. but in college they were usually filled with anxiety and were very stylized and unrealistic. some even had an almost animated feel and were in black and white.

this is what i found out about my dream from an online dream dictionary:

To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

To see your belly in your dream, indicates that your are processing and integrating your ideas and feelings from the unconscious to the conscious level. The belly symbolically holds repressed emotions and unexpressed feelings. Your dream may also be telling you to trust your gut feeling and intuition.

To see a pregnant belly, represents emotions that are due to come to the surface. They can no longer remain suppressed.

To dream that you are stroking or touching a belly, indicates that you are coming to terms with certain feelings. You are slowly confronting and acknowledging your repressed emotions.

To hear a heartbeat in your dream, suggests that you are not confronting or recognizing your feelings. You need to approaching thing head-on. Alternatively, a heartbeat may symbolize life or fear. You are feeling threatened in some way.

ok, ok...i get it. it kinda makes sense given some news i got recently. who'd have thought that my subconcious was able to beat me over the head that many times in a single dream?