Tuesday, May 23, 2006

busy weekends wear you out

i had a very interesting, but busy weekend...in a nutshell i went to two going away parties, had another round of casting for a part for our show, did the aids walk and saw my first prince albert. :)

more details to follow...

i'm so tired.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

weird morning

yes i know i should be working, but i had to share...
i was pretty late to work today because of all the weirdness on the train.
first the L train was held up because a guy on my train got arrested. i saw three cops drag him out and he looked like he was on something. he also couldn't really walk because his pants had fallen down to around his legs and they wouldn't let go of his arms so he could pull them back up.
then i finally get on the 4 train. it's really crowded and this guy behind me starts touching my back and telling me to move further in. there is no possible way i can get any further into the train. this guy keeps touching me. then suddenly i hear another guy say "why are you even touching her?" and as the doors start to close the other guy shoves the toucher out of the train. i thanked him, but it was a little violent for first thing in the morning.
at 42nd street, it clears out and i sit down. i notice that the guy next to me is looking at his diskman very closely. he's wearing glasses, so i wonder if they're not working well or something. then he starts licking it!!! the man was licking his diskman and i don't think anyone noticed but me.
i get to work (late) and i have an email from my mom. she said she got a call at 5:45am saying that school was canceled because a bomb went off in the school. then she said she got a second call that said it was an electrical fire, not a bomb. cover up? who knows...
AND THEN a baby bird flew into our office and a bunch of us were trying to get it to fly back out the door before it flew into one of our windows and hurt itself.
and it's not even noon...

art imitating life imitating art

music really helps me during a break-up...and during this period i've found myself gravitating towards the bouncing souls (who i am hoping to see at the knitting factory the first week of june), most particularly to their album, hopeless romantic. many of their songs just fit with how i've been feeling...including night on earth, (i'm a) hopeless romantic (you're just hopeless), whole thing, and wish me well (you can go to hell). in fact, the lyrics to this duet could have been a conversation between patrick and myself at some point...check it out:

p: i gotta be me, baby, and you gotta be you.
k: something isn't right, but i know i love you. i only want what's best.
p: i don't know. is this some kind of test?
k: yeah and you're failing! all we do is bicker.
p: say good bye.
k: kiss my ass. i hope you die.
p: wish me well.
k: you can go to hell. say good bye.
p: kiss my ass. hope you die.
k: wish me well.
p: you can go to hell. we were so different a short time ago.
k: love's supposed to make us happy, supposed to make us grow. and i just wanna punch you in the face!
p: i love you. i guess i needed some space.
k: oh well another time and another place.
p: say good bye.
k: kiss my ass. i hope you die.
p: wish me well.
k: you can go to hell. say good bye.
p: kiss my ass. i hope you die.
k: wish me well.
p: you can go to hell. so does this mean i really have to go?
k: um, yeah. what part of 'get out' didn't you understand?
p: wow. i mean, what happens if i want to call you or something next week?
k: well, what happens is that i won't be there because i don't like you any more.
you're stupid.
p: fine then. i don't care. i'm leaving.
k: k. whatever. bye. see ya.
p: alright. i'm out the door.
k: k. bye.
p: this is me leaving. i'm gone.
k: k. see ya. bye. whatever.
p: can i call you next week?
k: no. what are you laughing at, stupid?
p: i'm out the door.
k: god. go already.

thank god for music...it can give you a sense of humor even when you feel hopeless.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

cycles

so my boyfriend and i broke up. i don't need to worry about him reading this because he never really took an interest in what i was doing in my life and although i did send him this link a few times, i don't think he ever bothered to visit my blog. there'd be no reason for him to start now.
to answer some questions that were put forth to me about it: yes, the relationship was troubled. yes, i knew it was eventually going to end. yes, i had considered breaking up with him in the past, but this was his decision. it came out of the blue for me because in our last serious conversation we had regarding our relationship, he said he was happy with the way things were, etc., etc. and didn't understand why i was unsatisfied. also our last day spent together was totally wonderful...the best day we had together, i think, in months. apparently, though, even that day he was planning the break up. what hurt the most though was what he said to me and that i know that there is something he is not telling me that sparked the event. i know ultimately it's for the best, but it still hurts.

now that that's out of the way, the real reason for this blog entry...

i feel that i'm back in a similar place as i was this same time of year last year. weird things keep happening to me, which makes it obvious...

last year and pretty much this time, bob and i decided to play pool one afternoon at dempsy's pub on 2nd ave. eventually we were challenged by two guys, one of whom i was pretty attracted to named roscoe. it was probably only 3pm and both guys were well on their way to being blitzed, but we had a good time. roscoe mentioned that his birthday was coming up and i should go to his party. we exchanged numbers but nothing ever came of it. a week or two later (over memorial day weekend) patrick and i had our first "date".
this past friday i saw the crucible, which was done by rising sun, a company run by some friends of mine. i joined the cast for drinks at east 4th street bar, across the street from the theater (and around the corner from dempsy's). we were all drinking at tables set outside the bar on the sidewalk when this guy who looks a little familiar stumbles by. he is incredibly drunk and probably has no memory of the night. i take note that he's really cute (but really drunk) and try to remember if he was an actor who submitted for a part in our show (and that's why he looks familiar). then he bends over the railing and asks me to dance with him. his two friends with him seemed mortified. i tell him no, to dance with his pretty friend and he says that she's his sister and her boyfriend would bash his face in for it. they pull him away and suddenly he turns around, lifts his shirt and starts rubbing his chest and stomach and starts yelling "look at what you're missing." i must say he has a REALLY nice body.
so we all laugh about it and continue hanging out. about half an hour later, he walks by again, this time without his sister and her boyfriend. and starts saying to me "oh look at your face. look at your eyes. look at your dimples and smile." so i get up and walk over to him and introduce myself. he tells me his name is roscoe. i try to shake his hand and he pulls me too him to try to kiss me. i move my face and he slobbers all over my cheek. but yes, it all came back to me when he told me his name. this is, in fact, that same roscoe and it's almost exactly a year since we first met. and again this time i am single. meghan mentioned that it sounded like we were fated. as cute as he is, i don't want to be fated to a guy with questionable intelligence and a drinking problem...

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

i love alan cumming!

my friend eric was able to get me a free ticket to see three penny opera at studio 54. the show has gotten pretty scathing reviews, but i still wanted to see it because it starred alan cumming. i had just missed him when he was in cabaret and i didn't want to miss him again. and if the show sucked, it's not like i paid a lot for the ticket. :)
all in all, i really liked the show. alan, as always, was brilliant. he has amazing stage presence and you find yourself watching him even when he's not the center of attention. i was impressed with ana gasteyer's voice. i didn't know she could sing so well! as well as the majority of the cast (especially jim dale and the man who plays lucy brown...yes, in drag). cindi lauper was okay, but you could tell she wasn't trained to do 8 broadway shows a week. isaac mizrahi's costumes were a bit disappointing...while i felt like that was exactly how i would have costumed the show, i would have expected more from a famous designer (and with a huge costume budget). i could tell you exactly what stores on st. mark's place he got certain costumes from. one of the characters was even wearing a pair of pants identical to ones i convinced my roommate to buy from religious sex (may it rest in peace). there were maybe two items that i could tell he had made especially for the show.
but anyway, it was an enjoyable show and i think the bad reviews are full of crap. so afterwards eric and i decide to slip around to the stage door to see if we can see any of the celebrities leave. i especially want to see alan cumming because i love him. when i went to see spamalot, i waited at the stage door for over an hour just to meet tim curry (because i love him too) and he never came out. i got hank azaria's autograph, though, but i didn't really care. i hoped that this wouldn't be a repeat of that incident.
there weren't very many people waiting back there. mostly it was a group of gay guys waiting, who were totally being checked out and picked up by the chorus boys leaving. there was also this really creepy makeup artist guy standing by me that i think was freaking out the actors. so ana gasteyer came out and signed programs. she seemed a bit nervous. then nelly mckay, who skipped our section (much to eric's disappointment). then cindi lauper. she's looking really old and was not very nice at all. and then alan! he signed my program and i told him that i thought he was brilliant and that he inspired me, etc. and when he handed my program back he wouldn't let go. he just stood there holding on to it, less that two feet away, looking at me. and that was my moment. i could have said something brilliant, that he would have remembered or that would have caused him to strike up a conversation with me...but no. my brain froze. i just stood there with this huge grin on my face looking into his eyes. i couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't have made me sound stupid or like a stalker. then the creepy makeup guy interrupted and our moment was over. he moved on. i should have asked him for a hug. thinking back...that's what i should have done. i'll know now, should i ever to happen across him on the street. it is new york, you know...there is always that possibility.
so i finally met one of my idols (i don't care that he did son of the mask or spice girls. he's a fucking brilliant actor) and my brain turned to goo. what would happen if i were to ever meet someone i really love, like david bowie or julianne moore? i'd probably just start sobbing and fall to their feet. i'm not kidding. i don't think i'd have a choice.
but even though i missed my chance to touch mr. cumming, i was floating on air for the next day or so after our meeting. yay!

Saturday, May 06, 2006

only in williamsburg pt. 1

i had heard about this controversial statue of a naked britney spears giving birth on a bear skin rug. (technically i think the sculpture is called something like "the birth of sean preston") oddly enough, this sculpture is supposed to be pro-life. after viewing it, i don't think any one would ever want to have a child. i found out that the gallery it was at was just a short walk from my apartment, so a few weekends ago (on the last day it was showing), my roommate hatim and our friend eric accompanied me to capla kesting gallery. i felt like i had to go, seeing as the gallery was so close to where i live AND it was free. how could you pass up the chance? in ten or twenty years when people are reminising and laughing, i can tell them that i was there. i saw the naked britney spears. and it was gross.
the gallery itself is a converted car garage and is actually pretty tiny (but meticulously clean and white). the sculpture was the only thing on display other than a podium with some info about the gallery and a display case with some pro-life propaganda in it.
it's odd that a pro-life sculpture of such a high profile would be on display in trendy, liberal williamsburg. it must have just been for the shock value.
so we walked around and viewed her from all angles. the sculpture doesn't even really look like her (the artist admits that britney did not actually pose for it and britney has not released any comments about it, either for or against the piece) and the hips are far too wide for a woman of that small frame. and yes, it's all anatomically correct. what makes it more disturbing is that it's got a pinkish glaze over it that makes it almost as if you're looking at a real person.
i think hatim and eric were much more traumatized than i was. so we stopped by this amazing french place on the way home for crepes and coffee and all was well with the world again.
i'm including some pictures...not for the weak of heart (or stomach)...





i've been busy

i've been SO busy these last few weeks...which not only means i'm sleep deprived, but that there are also a number of things i want to write about here.
what you may ask has been keeping me busier than usual? well, this past saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday, and wednesday, i was playing hall monitor (for a total of 20 hours...i counted) for my theater company's auditions for our two summer shows, the first quarto hamlet and an original, priscilla. i'm still recovering, but the decisions have been made, the parts have been offered, and we are awaiting a few replies.

now the real fun begins.